Hillbilly Lullaby

My wife tells me all the time that I am a hillbilly/redneck. I don’t think that I am…well, ok there are some things that I do that are pretty “redneck-ish”. Compared to her and her family/friends I am a big time redneck, but compared to the people where I come from I am not. I have a college education and I don’t hang deer in our front tree to bleed out…

I do a lot of things that embarrass my wife because I don’t do them the “normal” way, she says.

Redneck Offense #1: I have an old Chevy Blazer that I bought for a dollar. That’s right $1USD. It is a beauty! 🙂 It runs, but is not yet road worthy. It is a project that I have been working on and it sits in the driveway…

Redneck Offense #2: I recycle aluminum cans. I have asked Ace’s grandparents to save their cans too. Every time we go to visit Ace’s grandparents we come home with a couple trash bags full of empty cans, so I have a lot of cans that need crushed. And they tend to pile up until I get time to crush them.

Redneck Offense #3: Taking each can, one-by-one, and crushing it with my foot would occupy nearly all of my spare time. So in order to do things quickly I take a shortcut… I pour all of the cans all over the driveway then drive the Blazer (Nicknamed “The Crusher”) back and forth over them until they are all crushed.

Maybe it is the man in me that enjoys crushing things with the tires of a truck. Maybe it is the redneck. Either way I feel like I am driving BigFoot…and I enjoy it. 😉

Is the redneck syndrome contagious? I think it may be.

When my son was very young (I’m talking 1-2 months old) I had a hard time getting him to sleep. His mom and grandma would sing to him to get him to calm down and take a nap.

Once when I was home alone with Ace he was in the need of someone who would sing to him. Now, I am not a singer! I am as tone deaf as person with no ears, but I needed to give it a shot.

What song would I sing? I didn’t know all the words to “Rock-A-Bye-Baby” or any of the normal lullabies. I was drawing a blank… So I sang the first thing that came to mind…

“Well the first thing ya know, old Jed’s a millionaire,
The kin folk said, “Jed move away from there!”
They said, “California is the place ya oughtta be!”
So they loaded up their truck and moved to Beverly…
Hills that is…swimming pools… movie stars…”

Much to my amazement Ace fell into a soft slumber!

So was it the sound of my voice that calmed him, or did the song selection calm his inner underdeveloped redneck gene?

6 Comments

  1. George says:

    Are you getting money for the cans or just crushing them for fun? You can’t be too redneck if you got a website and blogging away.

  2. I think all three are more man things than redneck things, put it this way, I couldn’t really envisage a woman doing any of those thing, even a grass chewing one…

    😉

  3. Jared says:

    I don’t consider myself to be too redneck, although I do have some redneck tendencies. I didn’t mention the fact that when writing this post I was wearing a camoflauge hat, camoflauge pants, and no shirt. I also had some tobacco stuffed in my lip. I prefer work boots over shoes, jeans with holes in them, and peeing outside (but limit myself to when it’s dark to keep the neighbors from complaining)…I hate to shave or dress up, and tend to go way to long between haircuts.

    All things I do are normal for country boys (and some girls), but the city variety (I do live in the city now) have a hard time understanding why I do things that I do. I live in a decent neighborhood where every one wears khakis and polos and wouldn’t even consider getting dirty. Then there is me. 😉

    I do have to wear khakis and polos when I go to work, but they come off as soon as I get home. I would consider myself an educated redneck-ish type person. 🙂

    And, I do get money for the cans. I put the money into Ace’s savings account so that he can buy a truck that costs more than a dollar someday.

  4. Joe says:

    If you were crushing the cans with the $1 car than that would make you a redneck…actually just cheap. Rednecks are cool by me, just don’t get the cans too close to my house or I may steal ’em for my money making scheme.

  5. Jared says:

    LOL…I never even thought about that. The cans I’m crushing are worth more than the truck I am crushing them with. Maybe I should just recycle the truck! 🙂

  6. […] while back I wrote about how we save aluminum cans and I crush them with the old Blazer that sits in the driveway. Remember […]

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