Fatherhood 2.0
TIME put out a great article titled Fatherhood 2.0. Now you have probably heard the phrase Web 2.0, but do you know what it means? Nothing is different about the technical aspects of the internet, just the way we use it. It is kind of like a new way of thinking about the internet.
This article is making the same implications about fatherhood. The original version of Fatherhood is going out the door and a new way of thinking about fatherhood, simply called Fatherhood 2.0, is rolling in.
Think back to how different you are as a father than your father was, or your father’s father. Most likely many things have changed. Do you think that your Grandfather was a Stay At Home Dad while Grandma was out bringing home the bacon? I highly doubt it.
For years the man of the relationship was the bread winner and the woman took care of the house, but not anymore.
In the recent past women have gained more respect in the workforce. They are moving up the corporate ladder and no longer are companies ran by just men.
During this transition period for women in the corporate world, many households have had both the man and woman at work while the kids go to daycare. I myself live in this very category.
My wife and I have always worked until recently. My wife quit her job to stay home with Ace during the day. The reason she is staying home and not me is because I make more money than her. What would have happened if she made more money than me? You bet I would have quit my job to be a Stay At Home Dad!
This mentality is what I believe has coined the phrase Fatherhood 2.0.
The article from TIME also brings up another good question. Does Fatherhood 2.0 make a man less manly?
What defines a man? Better yet what defines manliness? All men are men by default, but there are manly men and then there are not so manly men. Does the definition of manliness change as society changes?
I consider myself to be a manly man. I like most of the manly man things. I like to work on cars, get dirty, drink beer, etc, etc. However I also like to stay at home and play with my son. I like to change his diapers and get up in the middle of the night to give him a bottle. Does this make me less of a manly man? I don’t think so.
What does society think? Does society think I am less of a man? Is society catering to the Dad that has upgraded to Fatherhood 2.0? In some ways it has and in others it has not.
When Ace was first born, people, including my family, were completely shocked to see me change a diaper. They were awestruck to see me carrying Ace through the grocery store while giving him a bottle. Some people looked at me like I had a second head.
On the other hand I got many smiles and looks of acceptance, almost as if they were telling me that what I was doing was extraordinary. They were accepting and embracing the fact that I am an involved father.
I think this makes me a better man, a more well rounded individual. I think this makes me a man and father of the 21st century, and I hope my son will turn out to be a better person because of it.
In the end it is not about me. I don’t care if people think I am a little wuss for carrying a diaper bag. So what if I need a day off of work to take my son to a doctor appointment. Who cares that I have created a blog that has nothing to do with technology, sports, or cars?
As far as I am concerned, Fatherhood 1.0 is outdated and has been discontinued. I’m upgrading to Fatherhood 2.0!
I think the easiest thing for people to say is that we’re (dads) now more in touch with our “feminine” or “nurturing side.” I think that is a total cop-out because it’s not true. It’s simply the easiest answer. We’re not wussier just because we’re assuming a more involved role in child rearing. If anything, this gives me a chance to make sure that my values as a guy’s guy are properly transitioned to my son. You think mom is gonna box with him? Is mom gonna torch black widows in the backyard with him? Is mom taking him to the monster truck show? Heeelll no. That’s me. If that also means that rotate in to change a poopy diaper, cook his dinner and take him on play dates, then so be it. If I start knitting, or watching chick flicks on my own, you can call me a wuss. If I bake a batch of cupcakes for his school bake sale, you better just buy one and compliment me on my mad baking skillz!