The Price of Happiness

I was going through my feed reader today and came across a very well written post written by Adam Purcell of WheresTheInstructions.com titled “For The Next Generation,” and it got me thinking about a few things…

Adam’s sums up his post using this one sentence…

“This is one of the greatest calls of a father, to realise the world my daughter grows up in, is the one I make for her.”

What kind of world do you want to make for your child? Do you want your children to have all of the things that you didn’t have? Do you want them to have more?

I want Ace to have more than I did growing up, but I want to make sure he also gets the things that I did. I could bust my butt and work seven days a week and give him everything he ever wanted…except for one thing…a Dad.

While I would love for Ace to have every thing he ever wanted, I think it is more important for him to be happy. I think it is more important that he have an involved Mom and Dad. I think it is more important that he is smothered in love.

Just remember…the world that we make for our children is not made up of just physical things that money can buy. It is also made up of something that money can’t buy….friends and family.

In my opinion, a person can buy every thing they ever wanted, but they won’t be truly happy unless they have true friends and a loving family.

17 Comments

  1. BusyDad says:

    Well put Jared! Above all else, being there for our kids is what counts. Of course there are material needs, but our kids can buy themselves a boat when they’re older – they can’t buy lost father/son moments. That’s how you assess what’s most important right now.

  2. JLow says:

    So true.

    I come from a family of 5; I am the youngest. The gap between my eldest sister & I is 12 years (both are (year of the) pigs!)

    Our parents are getting on now. Where before at the dinner table they’d be the ones talking & us listening, these days when we get together (and that’s pretty often still) it’s the kids talking & the folks taking a back seat.

    My point is, we stil get together as much as we can, for whatever reasons: the next generation kids’ birthdays, our own birthdays, festivities, or just simply because.

    New additions (inlaws marrying into the family) have at first found this clique very intimidating. But these days, they too add to the chatter. We are family after all, kids & their spouses.

  3. Adam Purcell says:

    It is such a good realisation for us fathers to know that so early in the lives of our kids.

    My mother always tells my father to ‘stop and smell the roses’ and not get consumed with getting things done. It’s a great principle.

  4. Craig says:

    Very well said!!
    The best world we can create for our child(ren) is created with them, helping form the lens through which they view it, amongst other things.

  5. Chuck says:

    Very nice post Jared!

    It is so hard to remember that you HAVE TO stop and build the relationship and memories with your kid(s). It is way too easy for life to get in the way and find you looking back and wondering where the last 6 months or year went.

    I want my kids to have the world, but it’s important that I’m in it.

  6. Tot's Mom says:

    You are certainly a very loving and sensible dad. You post said it all.

  7. Jim Lord says:

    Jared,
    I found out about your post on your blog because I subscribe to Google Alerts, which sends me a note whenever the line “What Kind of World Do You Want?” from Five for Fighting’s song, appears on the web. Using the link below, you’re welcome to see how a forthcoming book carries the same title. In fact, I’d be glad to send you a copy with my compliments, hardcopy via post or pdf via email.

    Jim Lord
    http://www.whatkindofworld.com

  8. MommySpeak says:

    Amen to that. It’s all about the Love we share and the example we show. Well put!

  9. Mike says:

    It would be a much better world if more parents shared your sentiments.

    I see too many children brushed aside by their parents because they are too busy to “deal” with them.

    Kudos.

  10. Ameratis says:

    I am so glad to hear someone else say that! I am not a parent yet but I used to be a nanny and I constantly would see parent’s trying to replace time with things.

    My friends, who are also not parents, and I had a discussion the other night how it seems the “baby boomer” generation has tried so hard to give their children everything they did not have they forgot to give them the things they did have, which aren’t always physical things. So we have another generation (mine, cause I am not baby boomer) growing up thinking that to be a parent means to give your kids things. Just not so is what I say.

    This is my first time to your blog but just from one post I can tell you are a great parent!

    Thanks for this post 🙂

  11. terancedubya says:

    Well said! I agree whole-heartedly that it is every parent’s duty to ensure that their children have love on their dinner plate and understanding in their juice box everyday. The material items cannot replace a child’s memory of a loving father or a caring mother. Those memories will propagate themselves into further generations and, hopefully, our children will have the same sensibilities towards their children in the future. Excellent post my good man, excellent post.

  12. Bernard says:

    I have a lot so I can’t complain, but what I want for Eli is for him work at something he loves, fight for what he believes and have a lot more luck and fun than I had.

    I will always try to encourage a proper social and moral compass but at the same time giving him the freedom to make his mistakes, while always being there to dust him off.

  13. Jared says:

    @BusyDad: Hopefully he can buy me a boat in the future. 🙂

    @JLow: Family is very important! Glad to hear that you have a great one!

    @Adam: When overcome with too much to do sometimes I feel like there are no roses around to smell, but I’m sure if one looks hard enough they will find them. 🙂

    @Craig: Perception is key. One can look at the same situation in two totally different ways. Kinda like the glass half full vs. half empty saying.

    @Chuck: I find it hard to stop sometimes, but all it takes is a little pause to play with the little guy and I forget about everything else. Kids are so cool!

    @Tot’s Mom: Thank you!

    @Jim Lord: I’m looking forward to reading your book!

    @MommySpeak: Thank you!

    @Mike: This is one of my biggest pet peeves. Makes me angry to someone ignore their kid or do just enough to get by…

    @Ameratis: Thank you for your kind comments and welcome!

    @Tdub: Thanks! “love on their dinner plate and understanding in their juice box” Awesome slogan!

    @Bernard: Very well put! I think someone needs enough freedom to create their own individuality, but enough responsibilities to keep them in line. 🙂

  14. […] to Jared for posting about this; his post is equally poignant: What kind of world do you want to make for […]

  15. Thanks for submitting your post to the Carnival of Family Life which I am hosting this week! It’s great to have you participating.

    Have you considered hosting? Check out the hosting schedule at http://www.jhsiess.com!

    Blessings to you this Thanksgiving weekend.

  16. […] Hoylman presents The Price of Happiness at […]

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