The Doctors Office: Farts, Burps, Ear Wax, and Red Poop

If you know Ace even the slightest little bit, you would know that if you found him sitting still for longer than 0.163 seconds with his eyes open and the TV not on Noggin, that something is seriously wrong!

Well that was the scene when I arrived home from work a few nights ago.  Momma called during the day and said that Ace wasn’t feeling good, but I figured it was like any of the other numerous times he was sick.  Usually he still runs around like the Energizer Bunny with snot running from his nose only stopping when it is time to eat or sleep, or both.

I walked in the door and Ace was lying on the couch by himself.  Just lying there like he was paralyzed from the neck down.  He turned his head to see who walked in the door.  When he saw it was me, there was no smile.  There was no running across the room to greet me.  Nothing!  Just a look of exhaustion… 🙁

Ear PlugsWhen his normal bed time came around, we tried and tried to get him to go to sleep, but all of our normal tactics were deemed useless.  The sickness was beating all of us! Finally after an hour or so Ace fell asleep on my chest and remained there for most of the rest of the night until Momma put him in his bed in the early morning.

Momma calls me the next day at work and needs me to take Ace to the doctor.  Things aren’t getting better and she has a doctor’s appointment herself on the other side of town.

So I picked up Ace and off to the pediatrician I went.  Even though Ace was feeling like crap he still managed to flirt with the nurses at the doctors office.  He was just lounging there in my arm when the nurse walked up to the reception desk to greet me Ace.

Of course, he perked up, pulled out a big smile, and hypnotized her with his blue eyes.  They “talked” for a few minutes before the older grumpier receptionist asked told me to have seat.

I grabbed a few magazines from the stack and was flipping through the pages to keep Ace entertained, but my reading kept getting interrupted by the little old lady sitting across from me… farting and burping!

She was talking away with her friend and would fart mid-sentence (Phhhhtttt!!!) without even losing her train of thought!  I’m not talking about a little squeaky fart…I’m talking about a day after drinking 12 beers and eating 24 hot wings kinda fart!  I’m not sure if she didn’t know she was farting or she didn’t care, but it sure did echo in that quiet waiting room!  I’m just glad I didn’t catch a whiff or the doctor would have been treating me for nausea for sure! 😀

Our name was finally called and we sprinted back and took a seat in room #4 before we passed out from methane inhalation.  The doctor lady performed the normal checks…temperature, heart, lungs.  All look OK until she checks his ears.

I hear her say something like, “Little man you gotta start letting go of that ear wax!”Ear Wax Candle

She grabs the smallest pair of tweezers I have ever seen and goes in to pull it out.  While digging around in his ear she says to Ace, “I bet Daddy is going to be shocked at how much ear wax you have in here.”

Now seriously how shocking could it be?  You ever looked at a 1yr old’s ear hole?  It’s tiny!  I figured a few small globs of ear wax.  Maybe something I would see on a Q-Tip after being pulled from my ear.  My ears are probably 5 times bigger than his so a man sized chunk of ear wax would be considered a lot of ear wax for a little guy, right?

Wrong!  What I saw literally made my jaw drop.  I’m talking about a chunk of ear wax about a 1/2 inch long and a bit smaller round than a pencil!

She takes another peek in his ear…there is more!  She goes digging a few more times and pulls out more ear wax every single time!  All in all if it wouldn’t have broken apart it was probably an inch long. (And I thought Ace had been ignoring me when he wouldn’t respond to me at home…the little guy was probably couldn’t hear a lick)  😆

His ailment was diagnosed as an ear infection (jeez, imagine that!) and antibiotics were prescribed.  She says there is nothing we can do to prevent the build up of ear wax.  It just happens in some kids and they will eventually out grow it, or their ear canals will rupture from an excess build up of wax.  (OK,  I made that last part up)

Before leaving the room she warns me… “Oh yeah.  If his poop turns a brick red color there is no need to worry.  It’s just the medicine.”

It’s a good thing she told me that piece of important information!  I’m pretty sure red poop requires an immediate emergency room visit in any other imaginable circumstances. 😀  If you know of a situation where it doesn’t please let me know…just incase…you never know…

Photos by: http://flickr.com/photos/nickstarr/ and http://flickr.com/photos/fuse/

8 Comments

  1. Joe says:

    Ironic, I had a similar experience with each of my girls. They all had the ear wax build up thing, it is nasty and darker than I expected. We are just getting over an ear infection that kept me up to 4 in the morning a few nights this week. So much crying…anyways, our Doc said to use olive oil (3 drops per ear) to help dissolve the wax. Weird huh? Hope Ace is feeling tip top soon.

  2. Joe says:

    Dude, that lady in the waiting room…wtf? Ewww.

  3. kspin says:

    This post makes my ears itch! 🙂 Red poop would definitely get my attention, thanks for the heads up!

  4. Dad of Divas says:

    Yikes…good info to know…thanks for sharing!

  5. RubiaLala says:

    It is TOTALLY crazy how much wax can hang out in there. I actually thought our kid had a hearing problem and then we got all the wax out and he could hear just fine. It was amazing!

  6. Kim says:

    He is on Omnicef right? My son lived on that stuff when he was 2. Then his stomach could not handle it anymore.. it is really hard on their tiny tummies.

    I hope he is feeling better now!!!

  7. Chelle says:

    My kids tend to have the same problem…ear infections are no fun…you can always tell kids are sick if they seem to be acting “good” for a change, lol.

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