The Village

It’s been pretty hot here lately.  Somewhere around 90 degrees every day…and 98 degrees in our house!

Yup, our air conditioner took a big ole crap!  Why do these things break when they are needed the most?

And on top of that Ace came down with strep throat.  When he’s feeling good…he is lying around.  When he is feeling bad, he needs to be held.

I can barely stand the heat just sitting here by myself, let alone holding a 100 degree, crying, 25 lb boy!

So, we’ve been staying at Grandma’s house (which has AC) until the parts for our AC unit come in and I have time to install them.  😀

It really does take a village sometimes… 😀

Now Ya See Me, Now Ya See Me With Only One Eye

Ace is rough.  He does not play nice…sometimes.  He does not think twice about smacking the shit out of you, or kicking you in the nads when you are holding him, or pulling your hair (if you have any), or….poking your eye out!

You heard me right…poking your eye out!

Momma and Ace were playing on the floor and Momma took a fingernail to the eyeball.  She said it hurt like hell, but we both kinda hoped that it would be better in the morning.

Actually it got worse.  I came home from work at lunch to find Momma with an eye that was nearly swollen shut and bloodshot like she had been in one hell of a bar fight the night before.

I drove her and the eye poking two year old to the eye doctor where Momma was given some eye drops and told to keep her eyes closed as much as possible.

She spent the rest of the day resting lying on the couch with gauze taped to her orbit.

But while it is easy to get upset with Ace when he gets rough like this, you just can’t stay that way very long.

I mean, how can you feel anything negative at a face like this?

Cute Face

That Crazy Blue Elephant

Well, that crazy blue elephant has returned again this summer…reekin’ havoc upon Ace in his very own backyard.

That Crazy Blue Elephant

That damned thing comes out every time it gets warm and teases him with a small shower of cool water, just big enough for a three foot tall person to run through and cool down on a hot summer day.

And then once he gets close enough to enjoy the small shower… WHASHOOSH!  The elephant explodes with a massive flood of freezing cold water that pours down on him…sending him into shock and he runs for his  life…  😀

He reaches safety just in time to see the monsoon turn once again into a small pleasant shower.

And then he does it again…and again…and again…

But after a while he starts to catch on…

DSCF2497

…and he realize that there is a certain someone ( with a camera ) that is enjoying this a little too much.  This certain someone turns a knob connected to the hose every time the monsoon rains down on him.

He is getting smarter…wiser…more experienced.  It looks like that certain someone will have to step up their game in order to keep fooling this toddler.  😀

A Weekend Of Backflips

Today we were at the ballpark watching one of our friends daughters play softball.  Ace and I went to the playground.  😀

Of course, Ace is not quite big enough for the playground.  He can’t climb up to get on the slide, and he is not tall enough to jump on the swing set.  So, Daddy gets to play too.

Ace was swinging…Dad was pushing…Ace’s hands keep getting lower and lower on the chain.  He was eventually holding on to just the rings on the swing’s seat and not actually the chain.

He was getting wobbly and I was afraid we would end up in the emergency room.  So, I stopped the swing…raised his hands back up on the chain…made sure he had a good grip…and gave a slight push.

What’s Ace do?  He lets go!

It couldn’t be at the lowest point of the swinging arc.  No no no!  It had to be at the very tippity top.  Right where the swing stops moving forward and start coming back down.

So what happens?  Gravity.  That’s what happened!

Ace fell a few feet and landed on his back in the gravel under the swing set.  Of course I’m the only Dad at the playground, so all I heard were a bunch of Moms gasping for air…like that was going to stop him from hitting the ground so hard.  😀

It knocked the wind outta the little guy, but we walked back over to where Momma was and a sucker made everything hunky dory!  😀

And if you thought that was bad…

We were in the backyard playing.  Actually, I was working and Ace was playing.  I see Ace climb up the ladder on the swingset to go down the slide. He has only mastered this feat in the past few weeks and is extremely proud of himself for being able to slide by himself.

When I see him get to the top I usually give him a big smile and a “Yey!”  Positive reinforcement, right?

So I give him a big smile.  He smiles back.

Then I see is his eyes get big…

I see him falling backwards… (of course all of this is in slow motion) 😀

His feet are above his head…

He’s coming full circle…a full backflip…

Only about a foot from the ground now…

…and SMACK!  His face hits the ladder.

My eyes shut as I see his face bounce off of the piece of steel.

I open my eyes, try to remain calm, and briskly walk his way…

I can hear Ace crying…

Damn this is a long 20 foot walk…

Screw being calm…I’m running…

I find Ace lying face first in the grass…

I pictured black eyes, blood, a broken nose, and a trip to the ER.

I picked him up…roled him over…his face looked OK (for a screaming, slobbering 2 year old)…his arms appeared to be attached and in one piece…by God we may have come out of this one unscathed…but we go inside for a Momma inspection just in case.  😀

Luckily all he had was a nice sized Goose Egg right between the eyes!  No trip to the ER, no black eyes the next day, no blood, no broken bones…just a bit of swelling, a bit of crying, and a Dad whom you would have thought just saw his kid fall off of the Empire State Building .  😀

And people wonder where the gray in my beard comes from…  😀

Rocks and Shit

We spent the weekend in my home town at Grandma and Grandpa’s house.  Riding the 4-Wheeler, lying by the pool, going swimming, and doing a little bit of partying on Saturday night.

Ace, however spent the weekend sharpening his speech skills and getting lessons from some of the best out there… 😀

Aunt Amber and Aunt Amy taught him some silly Frog song and he spent the weekend running around saying “mmmmm-eckkkkk  mmmmm-eckkkkk  mmmmm-eckkkkk-eckkkkk “.  Don’t ask me… 😀

Aunt Amy also thought it would be just darling for him to start his flirt training.  She successfully got him to say “Hey Gurrrl!”  to a few of his potential future mates.  You better watch out girls!  😀

Grandpa pulled in the driveway in his old truck, but Ace could not see him.  Ace looked to the sky and said “Hewicoptur!”.  I think he is indirectly telling you it is time for a new muffler Gramps.  😀

And last but not least, Ace was walking barefoot across the patio when someone noticed he was not putting weight on the heel of his foot.  Everyone thought he may have stepped on something sharp.  So, I picked up his foot and brushed off a bunch of dirt and rocks.  I announced to the peanut gallery that it was just some “Rocks and Shit”.  And of course, Ace proceeded to copy my excellent English lingo and announce by himself that it was just a bunch of “Rocks and Shit!”, “Rocks and Shit!”, “Rocks and Shit!”

Can’t Bose make some curse word canceling headphones?  I mean hell they make the noise canceling ones!  😀