Why Buy Toys?

I mean seriously.  Ace has a whole room full of toys.  Hell, you risk life and limb just to venture into the booby trapped maze of Fisher Price land mines!

With all the toys that Ace has, it never seems to amaze me the things that he plays with…

Favorite toy #1 is the toilet plunger!  How much more sanitary of a toy could he find?  If we leave the bathroom door open, it is a given that I will eventually trip over a tool designed to push a chunk of poo the size of a drain pipe!

Favorite toy #2 is the toilet brush…  If you find the poop pusher in the kitchen, you are likely to find the Porcelain God’s  loofah somewhere nearby.  Let’s just see how many places we can spread the fecal matter, shall we?

Favorite Toy #3 is the attachment for the vacuum.  But you know what’s funny..?  If I actually attach it to the vacuum and turn it on so that he will actually be doing some cleaning…he wants nothing to do with it.  😀

Favorite Toy #4 is the trash can lid.  If you take it off of the trash can, put it in the middle of the tile kitchen floor, stand on it until it is flat, and then jump off… it snaps back into shape with a loud POP.  Damned Rubbermaid…

And finally, Favorite Toys #5, 6, 7, 8, and 9…anything that is stacked in a neat pile, put away in a cabinet, on the counters, hanging from the Christmas tree, or otherwise purposely hidden from a two year olds view and/or reach…

What are your kids’ favorite “toys”?


  1. Mary A. says:

    Our kids could be twins- My 2 1/2 year old gravitates toward ANYTHING that has a “Choking Hazard” warning, any and all cleaning equipment (and yes, he will use it, just not efficiently!), cell phones, but only if they are on, takes batteries out of everything, tools- especially the drill that weighs more than him, keys, the sink, the Wii remote, which he checks to see if there are batteries and gets pissed when we take them out… I could go on forever. But, really, his absolute favorite toy is whatever the 8 yr old is playing with RIGHTNOWMUSTHAVEITTOOWAAAAAH.

  2. Sheliza says:

    My boy loves our dogs toys. Talk about sanitary!! Luckily he does not put things in mouth. He also loves his dad’s business cards, a lotion bottle, a paper towel, and also the infamous remote control!

    • Jared says:

      @Sheliza: A paper towel, or the whole roll? Because God forbid that Ace finds the whole roll of paper towels… Once he found a brand new bag of paper towels… Our living room looked like it snowed 2 feet in 30 seconds. 😀

  3. You forgot to mention the box that these big toys come in, might as well cut out the middle man a buy a stack of boxes!

    • Jared says:

      @Chris: I think I am going to save the boxes from the present we buy him this year, and give him the boxes next year for Xmas… Sounds like a plan!! 😀

  4. I absolutely love this post! My kids have a humongous playroom (the reason I can’t get any furniture in my formal living room). They have every toy that Fisher Price, Leapster, and Mattel ever made, but lo and behold, they want to play with ratty old pillow cases, shoes, paper towel dispensers and any other non toy item that children should not be playing with. I think I’ll have a yard sale and get rid of all these unused toys so I can finally get some formal living room furniture!Let’s see how they like that!

    • Jared says:

      @Krystal: I know the feeling. We have four bedrooms and my son takes up three of them. His bedroom, a toy room, and a reading room. All my stuff got moved to the basement. 😀

  5. C J says:

    When the children finally left to go about doing their own thing we started converting their rooms into the guest room, the office and the other office..now that they have had children one of the offices has turned into a play room,dedicated exclusively for the grand kind and their stuff. We love it and wouldn’t have it any other way. The toys handed down from the oldest to the youngest and now the little guy,(1 1/2 year old) has inherited all of them and loves to come over and look through is aquired loot.

  6. Keith Wilcox says:

    You have discovered what every parent in the history of parenting has figured out too late to save themselves the aggravation of thousands of wasted dollars on crappy toys :-)We did the exact same thing. Bought a bajillion and one toys that took up too much space, cost too much and never got played with more than a few times. Rocks — just give them rocks and they’ll be happy! HAHAH

  7. Erik says:

    I have tried to get my son to play with the pile of toys he received on Christmas. No go! He just wants his wooden spoon. Some kids hang with their teddy, while my son is gnawing on his kitchen aid special!