Honoring The Life of Payton Marie Robinson

Payton Robinson

We never met Payton or her family, but we have a family member that had. To know that Payton has touched so many lives during her short time here is heart warming.

My mother called me Monday evening, and as soon as I heard her voice I knew something was not quite right. She told me that her manager had not been to work that day, there had been a family emergency.

I was afraid to ask what happened, and then she told me that her manager’s grand-daughter had died that morning. Shock was the only way to describe how I felt, and some disbelief too. I didn’t even notice that I had begun to cry when I asked what happened, not that it mattered what happened…this precious child was gone.

Payton Marie Robinson was just 9 weeks old when she passed away unexpectedly, leaving behind her parents and two-year old brother Tyson. When something so tragic happens to someone you know, it makes you hold tight to the ones you have in your life and remember God is really in charge of everything and He has a plan. We may not understand that plan and truth be told we may never, but we must hold fast to our faith for it will see us through.

To honor the life and memory of this sweet child, we are making a donation in her name to www.firstcandle.org and we encourage others to do the same; if not to this organization than to one helping to fund the research and prevention of SIDS. Remember this family in your prayers as we do, for this child may have gone on to be with her Heavenly Father but she will never be forgotten.

This is her obituary:

Payton Marie Robinson, born February 16, 2009, departed this world April 20, 2009. We belong to God and not the Earth. He just lets the Earth borrow us for a little while to do God’s work. God sent Payton Marie “Pay Pay” here to bring love and happiness if only for a short nine weeks. We all were blessed with her presence and are happy to know that she is with her Heavenly Father and among many family and friends that have gone on before us. Preceded in death by paternal great-grandparents Ruthie West, Arthur and Dorothy Robinson, maternal great- grandparents Cyrus and Ocee Simmons and Merchant and Josie Singleton. Survived by parents, Lawrence and Jacinta Robinson; brother, Tyson James Robinson; paternal great-grandfather, James West; paternal grandmother, Eugenia Robinson; paternal grandfather, Ronald Robinson; maternal grandparents, Eric and Charlene Simmons; aunts, Patrice Robinson and Rhonda McKinney; uncle, Joshua Simmons; a host of aunts, uncles, cousins, and many loving family friends. Memorial Celebration of Life 3:30 p.m. Saturday, April 25, 2009 at St. Paul A.M.E. Church, 639 E. Long Street, where the family will receive friends from 2:30 p.m. until the start of service. Attendees are asked to wear bright colors. In lieu of flowers, please consider a contribution to the St. Paul A.M.E. Allen Christian Endeavor Youth Ministry. Arrangements entrusted to DIEHL-WHITTAKER FUNERAL SERVICE, 720 E. Long Street.

Jacinta Simmons-Robinson and her mother have been featured in a previous post regarding their online business geared towards formal wear for young boys and infants. Take a moment to check out their site: www.tysonscloset.com

It’s that time of year again….March for Babies!

Hello everyone…it’s been quite a while since my last post…although I have been following several secretly, so I thought I would mention it’s that time of year again!

March of Dimes is having their annual March for Babies (formerly WalkAmerica) and I have decided to participate again this year! Last year several readers/stalkers were responsible for helping me reach my goal so this year I have doubled what I did last year! My hope is this year to earn $250 for March of Dimes and to pray that one day all babies will be born healthy!

If you are able and willing to help please donate via the following link, and if you can’t due to your personal economic crisis I understand just pray for nice weather that day! You never know about an April in Ohio!!!

Merry Christmas…from our family to yours!

Family Christmas Pic 2008

Family Christmas Pic 2008

It’s been a while……Update!

So it’s been a while since the last post, the one where I was going to the doctor to be checked.  Well as it turns out, everything came out fine and nothing else is needed.  Yay for that!!!  The other good thing, my monthly bill came so that means that my body is totally healed and the baby-making can now proceed!  Jared is more than excited to get back to work in that department and we are keeping our fingers crossed that it doesn’t take quite as long this time; and that it doesn’t have the same result.  The odds are in our favor though, so that gives me some hope!

Another thing I thought I would mention, I wasn’t sure if I really was healing emotionally but today I found out for sure.  My best friend for the last 15 years is/was pregnant, due October 9th.  She had her baby girl today, and we were all surprised!  Momma and baby are doing great, Maddie was a little small but doing great, no extra measures were needed (i.e. oxygen or anything like that) and proud papa Bryan could not stop smiling or hide that tear in his eye!  It was great to see them all, and to see God’s work again!  As soon as I showed up at the hospital they asked me to hold her and at first I just couldn’t, I was too afraid that I would cry.  So after about an hour of visiting, I finally gave in.  And you know what, I wasn’t jealous (which I will admit I was terrified that I might be) but I was filled with so much love for my newborn “niece” that I thought I might cry.  To look in her face and not wish that she was mine but to actually be so proud of Jennifer for all her hard work.  To know that this child will know so much love in her lifetime, I was overwhelmed with emotion.  I wish my dear friends the best on this new journey they are taking, and I hope Maddie brings to them what Ace has brought to us; pure, unconditional, unwavering love!

Today I celebrate that not only was a child born but a mother and father as well!

We love you Jen and Bryan, welcome to the “Breeder’s Club”!

We love you Maddie (even though you just got here), welcome to the world!

Today’s the day…..

It’s Wednesday, and here I sit; when I should be sleeping. 

I go to the doctor today to make sure that everything passed like it was supposed to.  And God, I really hope it did….I don’t want anything else to have to take place.  As if this whole thing isn’t bad enough, I might have to endure more and I don’t think that I can.

My friends must think I’m awful or a basketcase or just plain crazy at this point.  I have avoided everyone that I can for the last week, actually longer, but I think now I’m going to have to face them.  I’m sure everyone will want to tell me that everything will be okay, that this is for the best; but honestly I don’t want to hear it.  Not anymore!  I’m ready for this to be over, O-V-E-R, to just be a memory.  A really crappy memory!  I’ve grieved, believe me I’ve grieved over this, but now I honestly think that I’m beginning to heal.  That God really is taking this pain away.  It’s been 10 days, is this even possible?  I would like to think so.  Some people think I’m pretending to be fine when the truth of the matter is, I’m all cried out.  My tears have run dry….that whole in my heart; Ace is filling it up with so much love that I don’t notice it as much today as I did yesterday.  Today I walked right by the baby clothes at WalMart and didn’t stop to wonder if I would need pink or blue this time.  Just a slight trick of my mind maybe, but I would like to think that I’m done.  I’m done feeling hurt and miserable and sad and sick and all that mess that comes with it.  I’m ready to think of what next month might bring, or the month after that.  I’m ready to get back to living my life instead of just watching it happen from the sidelines.

I miss laughing for no reason at all, and sleeping late without my family thinking I’m alone in the bedroom crying my eyes out, and I miss exercising (which I haven’t really done and used to do everyday and I hate more than anything), and I miss talking on the phone without wondering if this will come up, and I miss my friends and family just being normal.  So please, stop asking if I’m okay when you don’t believe my response anyway, and stop tip-toeing around the subject of babies (of which I know 9 people due to have their own in the next few weeks to months), and stop treating me like I might fall to pieces any second.  I’m okay, not totally healed but I’m getting there and the sooner everyone gets back to life as usual the easier it will be!

I don’t want to sound ungrateful, I really appreciate the support and love and prayers from everyone; honestly I think that is what has helped.  That this ordeal was not a secret that I had to go through on my own, that I did have so much support to lean on when I was at my lowest, that is what has helped me heal the most.  So let me heal…..and believe me when I say that I am getting there….and that I am okay.

I know I’m not the first woman in history to go through this, but if I could be the last that would be fine by me.  I wouldn’t wish this kind of hurt on anyone, not even my worst enemy.  So to those who have suffered through this, I wish you to be healed and let God’s love surround you and make you whole again; that’s what I’m trying to do.

Thank you Jared for being there and dealing with my crazy mood swings and irrational behavior at times, and for letting me scream when I needed to, and for listening without speaking, and loving me through this all.  You really are the best friend I have ever had, and I’m lucky to have you in my life!  I love you more than words….you have my heart until the end of time!

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings

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