More Of A Treat Than A Trick

Ace Trick Or Treat 2009So this year was a pretty fun one for Trick-Or-Treat!

The past few years Ace could really give a crap.  I think it was more of an inconvenience for him actually.  He probably saw Trick-Or-Treat as just wearing some uncomfortable clothes…being made to walk (ride in the stroller or Dad’s arms) an insanely long distance…being surrounded by people with bad customes…and it was all for nothing!  He didn’t even like candy!

But, this year was a different story.  I was so proud of him.  We took off from Grandma’s house walking…yes actually walking this year.  He was carrying his candy bucket, kept his hat on, and only tried ripping his costume off a few times.  :D

Ace walked house to house, up and down stairs, for six whole blocks without even being asked to be carried.  (My arms thanked him)  :D

There was some people trying to be scary to the little kids by wearing scary masks while passing out the candy.  We walked up to one house and here comes a girl about Ace’s age with tears flying.  I thought about walking past this house to keep Ace from getting scared, but then I changed my mind.  After all, Halloween is all about being a little scared, right?

Ace walked up to the scary guy with some weird mask on and just stared at him like he was thinking, “What the hell is wrong with your face?”  Ace took his candy and calmly walked to the next house.  I was rolling… :D

After about 6 blocks Ace has had enough and his candy bucket probably weighed about as much as he did.  We called it a night and went inside to check the candy for tampering.  There were a few pieces where I deemed that a taste test was necessary…  :D

Next year’s post will probably be about how out of breath I will be after chasing him from house-to-house, keeping him out of the street, and my sugar deprevation.  :D


Ace’s First Halloween…With Me!

Well, I made it back from Baltimore on time! YAY! I arrived at the factory where I was doing the work at 11:00 and had the machine fixed and was out the door by 12:30. Caught a flight at 2:30 and was home by 4:00. I think I broke every land and air speed record known to man! :) Enough about work…let’s get to the fun stuff…

We got Ace dressed up in his skunk costume. Here are a few pictures from before our journey…

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I was surprised that most people knew what he was. Honestly, just by looking at the costume, I wouldn’t have known. We were greeted by many people saying…

  • “Oh, look at the little stinker!”
  • “Oh that’s what I smelled!”
  • “Oh, how cute! Look at the….lamb?”

However, since Ace doesn’t walk yet I carried him most of the way. We brought the stroller, but I just didn’t feel right standing in line with the little kids waiting on candy. When I would get up to the porch I would say “Trick-Or-Treat!” and then turn around and point towards the stroller on the sidewalk…”It’s for my boy.” I felt pretty stupid, so I sacrificed my arm muscles for candy. (Not to mention I was secretly showing him off to the neighborhood, as any proud Dad would do.) I decided that having my arms morph into limp slivers of Jello was well worth such a fun experience. :)

During the trek across town and back we saw many unique and unusual things…

  1. The high school trick or treaters… If you are old enough to grow a mustache…you shouldn’t be begging for candy. Also, if you have to put your cigarette in your mouth so that you can hold your bag open…there’s a good chance you shouldn’t be out getting candy with the youngins. :D Just my opinion…
  2. Second were the sluts-in-training…I mean improperly dressed pre-teen girls. Belly shirts, tube tops, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes, big hair, and too much makeup. Any Prostitute Momma or Pimp Daddy would be so proud! I can hear Pimp Daddy when the little girls got home….”Where’s my cut of the candy, hoe?”
  3. Third was the miniature horse. That’s right! A miniature horse on a leash in the city! Somehow we got onto the subject of horse poop, and one of my friends said that horse poop is like dust. I’ve never seen a cloud of poop behind a horse, have you?
  4. Fourth were the numerous pets in costume (no offense BusyDad) ;)
  5. Fifth would have to be the lame costumes. You can’t wear jeans and a hockey jersey and call yourself a hockey player! Where is you stick? Where is your helmet? Maybe some missing teeth?
  6. Sixth would have to be the lack of costumes. One kid had no costume, but was saying, “I’m doing this for my younger brother. He is at football practice tonight and couldn’t go trick-or-treating, so I am getting some candy for him.” Please…we aint stupid! You would just be embarrassed to be seen by your 17 year old peers with a Power Rangers costume on, and you are too lazy to get a job to pay for your own candy!
  7. Numero seven…The kids that are too lazy to walk from house to house! Seriously there were a couple vans with the sliding doors open. They would stop at one house, 5-6 hooligans would get out and get some candy, then they all got back in the van. The van would drive three houses down, and then they would do it all again! Are you gonna cry because you had to walk a whole block where no one was handing out candy? Where has the work ethic gone in this country? I understand they were being more efficient. Their HPH ratio (Houses Per Hour) probably far exceeded ours, but excessive efficiency, in my book, equals laziness…
  8. The parents that drove their children from house to house! What great role models! I can hear it now…”I’ll drive you from house to house, but I’m going to need some of your candy to help offset the cost of gas. Deal?”
  9. My favorite was the local bar that had the kids come inside and pick three items of candy off of a table. It just didn’t look right to see a line of kids entering “The Red Brick” for a treat. It was a good gesture and they had the best of intentions, but it just looked funny. :)

I have to quote something that my brother-in-law said at the end of the night as we were talking about all of the crazy things that we had seen… He said, “A person can be very smart, but people in general are dumb.” My question is…are people in general really dumb? Or is free candy just dumby bait? Or are people so intoxicated by the sugar rush that they left their inhibitions, morals, and values at home? Your guess is as good as mine…

All in all we had a great time…both enjoying Ace’s first Trick-Or-Treating experience, and also watching all of the inhabitants of this wonderful city.

As you probably know, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be going Trick-Or-Treating or not, so I didn’t put much thought into a costume for myself. At the last minute I came up with the following costume… Can you guess who I am?

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I’m the ex-lobster panty specialist…Dorky Dad!

At the end of the night, after walking for about three hours, we were all tuckered out! Especially Ace…

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Hope you all had a Happy Halloween! I sure did!


Trick Or Treat…Without Me

Jack-O-LanternAs many of you know I am a travel some for work, and whenever there is something I really want to do, I end up being out of town that day.

Well, tomorrow, Halloween, is one of those days.  It is Ace’s first Trick Or Treat and there is a very good chance that I will miss out on it.

I got a call today informing me that I have to be in Baltimore, MD on Halloween day.  I can’t say no…it is my job.  This kind of thing is expected, but still sucks!

However, I am not giving up hope.  From what I’ve been told, this should be an easy job.  My flight gets in to Baltimore at 9:30 AM and I should be in the jobsite around 10:30 or 11:00.  If I work for three hours and get the machine fixed I can catch a flight out at around 4:00 PM and be home around 6:00 PM when Trick-Or-Treat starts.

My fingers are crossed…


Trick Or Treat Through An Eight Month Old’s Eyes

Skunk Halloween OutfitAce’s first Halloween and Trick or Treat is only about two and a half weeks away! Woo Hoo! I can’t wait to eat all of his candy! What? He can’t eat the candy yet, and if I save the candy until he is old enough to eat it, it won’t be any good…so why waste it?

I don’t remember getting dressed up for Halloween before the age of 4 or 5. What do you think goes through the mind of a 7-8 month old boy who is dressed up as a skunk? Here is what I think will be going through his young mind…

  1. Maybe if I go play with the dog I will fit in with him and he will play back. I mean, I do have a tail and two floppy ears. Now if I can just figure out how he does that lifting the leg to pee thing…
  2. I bet Mommy and Daddy would really appreciate me pooping in my diaper right now. It’s a 15 minute walk back to the house, and this costume has got to take forever to get off. I should be nice and stinky by the time we get home! Oh yeah, then I will smell bad like the skunk that I am dressed up as…
  3. Hey Dad! I have more teeth than the old lady that just put that candy in my bag! And I think she drools more than I do!
  4. Damn! I’m getting robbed! Screw these Tootsie Rolls and Snickers bars! Where is the Similac and Sweet Potatoes!
  5. Are we done yet? I’m tired of being told how cute I am. This costume is hot as hell and it itches even worse. Dad has been eating the candy faster than the old ladies can put it in the bag. And…it is past my bedtime. Take me home and put me to bed!