The Smoke Monster Got Me!

Smoke Monster By: [177] (http://flickr.com/photos/banky177/)
Photo By: [177]
So, yeah….I’ve quit smoking (kinda).

Monday, I did pretty good.  I only chewed one fingernail down to the bone.  I don’t like bone chips in my teeth, so I smoked two cigarettes that day to keep from gnawing any deeper.

Tuesday, I was in the office…bored outta my mind!  The thought of a cold smoke (a term my friends and I coined in high school) frequented my deliriously nervous state of mind.  I was able to fight off the nic fits by taking it out on a small piece of flavored rubber…other wise known as chewing gum.

Wednesday, I traveled for most of the day down to tornado land Tennessee.  You CANT smoke in the airports or on airplanes these days so I just tried to sleep as much as possible.  That night I stayed in a smelly hotel.  I asked for a non smoking room, but was *this-close* to lighting up to get rid of the stench.  Also, since I slept so much on the plane, I was up all night…and what else is there to do at 3AM besides smoke and surf the net?  I held out due to the sign that stated a $100 fine for smoking. 😀

Thursday, things started to get easier.  However I only worked for about 3 hours and then spent the rest of the day and night in a better smelling hotel room surfing the net.  Boredom has to be my worst enemy! Even though the Internet is huge, you can only distract yourself from the smoking urge for so long before smoking a cigarette or passing out from eye strain.  I passed out. 😀

Friday, again was mostly a travel day, but the urges and withdrawal side effects were less fierce.  I only growled at one fellow traveler as they bumped into me at the airport.

Saturday, however, was a different story.  We were spending the night at my Mom’s and I forgot my patches at home.  I got pulled over and spent all night drinking in a bar.  I just couldn’t overcome the urges.  I gave in.  The smoke monster got me.

Sunday, I still didn’t have my patches so I smoked one more pack.  Better than going nuts and committing a mass homicide, right?

Since Monday, I have been back into quitting mode again.  It is Tuesday afternoon and I have not had a smoke in the past day and a half.  Do you think I can make it through this weekend without lighting up?

No Naked Lights? Or Smoking?

No Smoking or Naked LightsDamn it!  Now I have to go buy clothes for all of my lights!  All of my lights are exhibitionists and just hang out in the nude all of the time.  They are going to be pissed!

No really.  In all seriousness.  I am quitting smoking! (Or at least going to give it one hell of a try!)

I’ve smoked since I was about 16.  The first few years were pretty light, but once I got into college it was full on…a pack or more a day.

I’ve tried to quit multiple times.  As you can see none of them have worked.  The best I have done is quit for six months.  I used the nicotine patch, and it worked quite well.  But, when a stressful event occurred…I was right back to a pack or more per day.

I’ve tried quitting cold turkey before and that just doesn’t work for me.  Most non-smokers always say, “Just stop buying them!  That’s all you gotta do!”  Easier said than done.  It is hard…extremely hard.

In the past when I have tried to quit cold turkey, it doesn’t last long.  The nicotine withdrawal does weird things to the body.  I get jittery. I get moody.  My vision gets blurry at times.  I get headaches.  My teeth hurt.

The thing that bothers me the worst is my teeth hurting.  Well, they don’t actually hurt.  My front two teeth on the bottom of my mouth ache horribly the whole time.  It is so weird and doesn’t make sense, but that was always my sign that it was time to smoke again.  So aching teeth is the hardest symptom for me to overcome.

I woke up this morning and put on a nicotine patch.  I did good…really good.  I went all day long at work without losing my mind.  I got home and had one cigarette.  I shouldn’t have smoked it, but damn it sounded good.  After smoking it I wasn’t too happy with myself.  I did good all day long and had to break down, didn’t I?

The thing is, that even when wearing the patch my teeth still ache.  I’m not jittery or too moody, but my teeth still ache like I was quitting cold turkey.  I know that if I can hold on for about 3 or 4 days the aching teeth sensation will go away.  I just have to get most of that nicotine out of my body, and then slowly wean my body off with the lower dose patches.

Hopefully tomorrow will be as easy as today was. 

Stress and boredom are two of my triggers to have a smoke.  I’m trying like hell to avoid stressful situations and to keep from getting bored  these first few days. 

Other triggers are getting into my truck, after eating a meal, and break time at work.  Smoking consumes everything you do.  Everything you do reminds you of how bad you want a cigarette.  Sometimes I wish a doctor would put me into an induced coma and wake me up a few weeks later to cleanse my body of the nicotine so that I would be unconscious during the withdrawal period. 🙂

So, wish me luck!  I hope I have the strength this time to beat the money hungry health destroying habit…once and for all!