The Bionic Sleeper

You might remember my recent hospital stay where they detected that my heart had gone into atrial fibrillation.  It has been happening to me since I was in high school.  I had learned how to make the abnormal heart beat convert back to a normal sinus rhythm by holding my breath…and so I lived with it.   Yup, real fun stuff.  😀

My new heart doc has me taking some medicine that helps control it.  And so far it is working.  I’ve had a few freak episodes, but they only lasted about 2 seconds…nothing like the 10 hours of 190 beats per minute while I was in the hospital.  😀

I’ve been doing good.  I have not had a drop of caffeine…and I have not gone back into a-fib for more than 3 or 4 seconds.  Those couple times were really my fault.  I had been working outside all day cutting wood.  I had not ate or drank much of anything.  Dehydration and lack of potassium are just of the couple of things that can trigger a-fib.  Whoops…my bad.  😀

The next step of my treatment is a sleep study…this Sunday…yep Superbowl Sunday.  I get to sleep at the doctors office with about 3 million wires and sensors attached from head to toe while some really lucky nurses get to watch me toss and turn over a camera, and listen to me saw logs over a microphone.

Based upon the results, I may have to sleep like this from now on…

cpap

Looks comfy right?  Well, maybe I will actually feel rested in the morning.  I can look like the bionic sleeper if it makes me feel like the bionic man the next day.  😀

Do any of you that read DadThing use CPAP machines?  If so let me know what you think about them in the comments.

A Scary First…

DadThing has been filled with stories about Ace’s firsts.  From his first step to his first night with no bottle.

However, something happened this weekend that was a first for me.  It was not nearly as happy a time as when Ace rolled over for the first time.  I spent my first ever night in the hospital.

I have had a problem with my heart since I was in junior high school, but no doctor could ever tell me what it was.  I have had multiple EKGs, Echoes, stress tests, you name it…and they all come back normal.  I swear the doctors thought I was making stuff up.

Ya see, sometimes, especially when I exert myself, my heart goes crazy.  It beats really hard and with no real rythym.   Sometimes I feel like I’m going to pass out and I almost always have to sit down until my heart calms down a bit.  Usually I can get it to stop within 10 minutes or so with some techniques I have discovered over the years, but not Saturday night.  After about 3 hours I drove myself to the emergency room.

I did not feel bad.  There was no pain, I did not feel faint or anything.  I just knew that something was not right.   I walked up to the ER receptionist and told her that I would like to be seen for a rapid and irregular heart beat.  She took my name and social security number and I immediately went back for an EKG.

The nurse doing the EKG seemed very urgent and I immediately went into triage to have my vitals checked.  My blood pressure was high and my heart rate was 180 beats per minute.  A normal heart rate is around 70 beats per minute.  Yikes!  The triage nurse, said “Wait right here.  You are next to be seen.”

I did not pass GO, did not collect $200, and went directly to an ER bed where I was immediately stuck with an IV, had X-Rays, and then lied there for a few hours hoping the medicine would make my heart beat normally.  The urgency of everyone in the ER was kind of frightening. 

This has been happening to me for over 15 years now and I had become used to living with it, but I guess it really was something serious…atrial fibrillation.

About 6 hours later I was admitted to the hospital.  After another 4 hours of lying in the hospital bed hooked to heart monitors a nurse rushed in my room as she yelled into her phone, “I need an EKG STAT!!”  I thought that something bad had happened.  I thought my heart had really gone crazy and I was in trouble…

However, she then looked at me and smiled.  “You converted!!”  My heart beat had converted back to a normal sinus rhythm.  This was a good thing because if the medicine did not convert me, they would have had to shock my heart with the paddles….while I was awake and alert. 

I had to stay in the hospital for another day in observation to make sure that my heart did not go back into atrial fibrillation again, and to also make sure I did not have a stroke (a side effect of being in atrial fibrillation for an extended period of time).

Momma brought Ace in to visit me and I will never forget the look on his face when he saw my lying there in that hospital bed.  He was confused and scared at the same time.  After he realized that I was OK, he did grab my finger and we took a few laps around the observation unit.  Ace pulling me, and me pulling an IV.  The little old ladies and the nurses got a kick out of him taking Daddy for a walk.  😀

So now I am back home, with no restrictions, and a little different out look on life.  I have cut caffeine out of my diet.  Once I have that under control, smoking is next.

I can’t live like there is no tomorrow anymore.  There are a few people in this world that count on me being there…and I’m going to do my part to make sure that happens. 😀

The Doctors Office: Farts, Burps, Ear Wax, and Red Poop

If you know Ace even the slightest little bit, you would know that if you found him sitting still for longer than 0.163 seconds with his eyes open and the TV not on Noggin, that something is seriously wrong!

Well that was the scene when I arrived home from work a few nights ago.  Momma called during the day and said that Ace wasn’t feeling good, but I figured it was like any of the other numerous times he was sick.  Usually he still runs around like the Energizer Bunny with snot running from his nose only stopping when it is time to eat or sleep, or both.

I walked in the door and Ace was lying on the couch by himself.  Just lying there like he was paralyzed from the neck down.  He turned his head to see who walked in the door.  When he saw it was me, there was no smile.  There was no running across the room to greet me.  Nothing!  Just a look of exhaustion… 🙁

Ear PlugsWhen his normal bed time came around, we tried and tried to get him to go to sleep, but all of our normal tactics were deemed useless.  The sickness was beating all of us! Finally after an hour or so Ace fell asleep on my chest and remained there for most of the rest of the night until Momma put him in his bed in the early morning.

Momma calls me the next day at work and needs me to take Ace to the doctor.  Things aren’t getting better and she has a doctor’s appointment herself on the other side of town.

So I picked up Ace and off to the pediatrician I went.  Even though Ace was feeling like crap he still managed to flirt with the nurses at the doctors office.  He was just lounging there in my arm when the nurse walked up to the reception desk to greet me Ace.

Of course, he perked up, pulled out a big smile, and hypnotized her with his blue eyes.  They “talked” for a few minutes before the older grumpier receptionist asked told me to have seat.

I grabbed a few magazines from the stack and was flipping through the pages to keep Ace entertained, but my reading kept getting interrupted by the little old lady sitting across from me… farting and burping!

She was talking away with her friend and would fart mid-sentence (Phhhhtttt!!!) without even losing her train of thought!  I’m not talking about a little squeaky fart…I’m talking about a day after drinking 12 beers and eating 24 hot wings kinda fart!  I’m not sure if she didn’t know she was farting or she didn’t care, but it sure did echo in that quiet waiting room!  I’m just glad I didn’t catch a whiff or the doctor would have been treating me for nausea for sure! 😀

Our name was finally called and we sprinted back and took a seat in room #4 before we passed out from methane inhalation.  The doctor lady performed the normal checks…temperature, heart, lungs.  All look OK until she checks his ears.

I hear her say something like, “Little man you gotta start letting go of that ear wax!”Ear Wax Candle

She grabs the smallest pair of tweezers I have ever seen and goes in to pull it out.  While digging around in his ear she says to Ace, “I bet Daddy is going to be shocked at how much ear wax you have in here.”

Now seriously how shocking could it be?  You ever looked at a 1yr old’s ear hole?  It’s tiny!  I figured a few small globs of ear wax.  Maybe something I would see on a Q-Tip after being pulled from my ear.  My ears are probably 5 times bigger than his so a man sized chunk of ear wax would be considered a lot of ear wax for a little guy, right?

Wrong!  What I saw literally made my jaw drop.  I’m talking about a chunk of ear wax about a 1/2 inch long and a bit smaller round than a pencil!

She takes another peek in his ear…there is more!  She goes digging a few more times and pulls out more ear wax every single time!  All in all if it wouldn’t have broken apart it was probably an inch long. (And I thought Ace had been ignoring me when he wouldn’t respond to me at home…the little guy was probably couldn’t hear a lick)  😆

His ailment was diagnosed as an ear infection (jeez, imagine that!) and antibiotics were prescribed.  She says there is nothing we can do to prevent the build up of ear wax.  It just happens in some kids and they will eventually out grow it, or their ear canals will rupture from an excess build up of wax.  (OK,  I made that last part up)

Before leaving the room she warns me… “Oh yeah.  If his poop turns a brick red color there is no need to worry.  It’s just the medicine.”

It’s a good thing she told me that piece of important information!  I’m pretty sure red poop requires an immediate emergency room visit in any other imaginable circumstances. 😀  If you know of a situation where it doesn’t please let me know…just incase…you never know…

Photos by: http://flickr.com/photos/nickstarr/ and http://flickr.com/photos/fuse/

Left, Left, Left, Right, Left

Momma and Ace
From Momma: We thank God everyday that Ace was born “on time”, perfect and healthy, but so many babies are not. Won’t you help those babies have a better start?

Momma is walking in the March for Babies on April 27th.

The money she raises for March for Babies will support life saving research, services, education and advocacy that help babies get a healthy start in life.

I’m asking you to help Momma reach her goal of $125 (only $40 more to go as of 4/14). By participating in March for Babies, Momma will help the March of Dimes fund the fight to ensure the health of babies. It’s easy, safe and secure – just click on the link below (or the picture in the right sidebar) to make your donation.

http://www.marchforbabies.org/shoylman

Not sure what the March of Babies is all about? Watch the video below…

[youtube]iQ1CsZbjY0g[/youtube]

If I Die From McDonald’s Rootbeer…

McDonalds CupI left the house at 4AM this morning to catch a 6AM flight to Baton Rouge, LA for work.  I arrived in Baton Rouge about 9:30.

I was hungry.  I skipped breakfast, so I stopped at McDonald’s and got a breakfast meal…somewhere around 9:45 AM.  I usually get orange juice with my McDonald’s breakfast, but since I had a two hour drive ahead of me I got a root-beer.  The root-beer is bigger and would last longer.

Anyways, I was driving down the highway enjoying my breakfast and root-beer on the way to the place I was working.  Over the course of the two hour drive I finished the root-beer.  It was flat and tasted a bit funny, but I was thirsty so I drank it anyways!

I finished my job and hit the road at about 2:00 PM.  I was thirsty again, so I stopped at a gas station to get a drink.  When I picked up the McDonald’s cup out of the cup holder, I shook it to see if it was empty.  To my surprise I heard…

THUMP….THUMP…

Why was the cup thumping when I shook it?  It had been sitting in the 80 degree car for over four hours.  All the ice should have been melted, right?

I opened the lid of the cup to see what the hell was going on.  What I saw made my stomach wrench!

I’m sure you’ve heard the stories about finding fingertips, mice, and other strange objects in fast food.  What I saw was not as bad as a fingertip or dead mouse, but it still grossed me out!

I saw a soggy chicken nugget!

Somehow a chicken nugget found it’s way into my root-beer…and I drank the whole thing without noticing…

The chicken nugget was just lying there at the bottom of my cup.  All of the breading had become soggy and broke off.  Pieces of the breading were covering the inside of the cup.  I probably sucked up most of the breading through my straw when I was drinking it though…

The thought of a chicken nugget being in my drink doesn’t gross me out.  Added protein, right? 😀

What grosses me out is that it was 9:45 in the morning.  They were still serving breakfast… Chicken nuggets shouldn’t have even been out and about yet.  So where did this chicken nugget come from? 

Did someone find it on the floor from the previous night and put it in my cup?  Ya know, after the mice, flies, and bugs got through nibbling and shitting on it?

Was it an uncooked chicken nugget that someone put in my drink?  Can you say salmonella..!

So, if I die from drinking McDonald’s root-beer I want all of the Mom and Dad bloggers out there to unite and form a group.  The group will be named P.A.C.I.F.I.E.R.

Parents
Against
Chicken Nuggets
In
Fast-food’s
Icy Drinks,
Especially
Root-beer

Take McDonald’s to court.  Sue them.  Give some money to Momma and Ace to make sure they will be taken care of for the rest of their lives, and donate the rest to charity.

Can I count on all of ya to follow through with this?

I’ve got other things to think about right now…like keeping my dinner down. 😐

McDonald’s cup photo by SoloXis

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