A Weekend Of Backflips
Today we were at the ballpark watching one of our friends daughters play softball. Ace and I went to the playground. 
Of course, Ace is not quite big enough for the playground. He can’t climb up to get on the slide, and he is not tall enough to jump on the swing set. So, Daddy gets to play too.
Ace was swinging…Dad was pushing…Ace’s hands keep getting lower and lower on the chain. He was eventually holding on to just the rings on the swing’s seat and not actually the chain.
He was getting wobbly and I was afraid we would end up in the emergency room. So, I stopped the swing…raised his hands back up on the chain…made sure he had a good grip…and gave a slight push.
What’s Ace do? He lets go!
It couldn’t be at the lowest point of the swinging arc. No no no! It had to be at the very tippity top. Right where the swing stops moving forward and start coming back down.
So what happens? Gravity. That’s what happened!
Ace fell a few feet and landed on his back in the gravel under the swing set. Of course I’m the only Dad at the playground, so all I heard were a bunch of Moms gasping for air…like that was going to stop him from hitting the ground so hard.
It knocked the wind outta the little guy, but we walked back over to where Momma was and a sucker made everything hunky dory!
And if you thought that was bad…
We were in the backyard playing. Actually, I was working and Ace was playing. I see Ace climb up the ladder on the swingset to go down the slide. He has only mastered this feat in the past few weeks and is extremely proud of himself for being able to slide by himself.
When I see him get to the top I usually give him a big smile and a “Yey!” Positive reinforcement, right?
So I give him a big smile. He smiles back.
Then I see is his eyes get big…
I see him falling backwards… (of course all of this is in slow motion)
His feet are above his head…
He’s coming full circle…a full backflip…
Only about a foot from the ground now…
…and SMACK! His face hits the ladder.
My eyes shut as I see his face bounce off of the piece of steel.
I open my eyes, try to remain calm, and briskly walk his way…
I can hear Ace crying…
Damn this is a long 20 foot walk…
Screw being calm…I’m running…
I find Ace lying face first in the grass…
I pictured black eyes, blood, a broken nose, and a trip to the ER.
I picked him up…roled him over…his face looked OK (for a screaming, slobbering 2 year old)…his arms appeared to be attached and in one piece…by God we may have come out of this one unscathed…but we go inside for a Momma inspection just in case.
Luckily all he had was a nice sized Goose Egg right between the eyes! No trip to the ER, no black eyes the next day, no blood, no broken bones…just a bit of swelling, a bit of crying, and a Dad whom you would have thought just saw his kid fall off of the Empire State Building .
And people wonder where the gray in my beard comes from…
Enjoying The Sunshine
So, yeah…it’s been a while. I lost my password to the site…or something.
No really, we have just been super busy gettin’ ready for summer, and most recently enjoyin’ the summer like weather here in Ohio.
Since it has been a while since you all have seen a pic of Ace, I figured I would upload a few pics of him outside enjoying the sunshine…
Bike Riding Is Fun
Getting So Big!
Yet, Still My Little Guy...
PS: Ace is all healed up from his surgery, and back to having more energy than Dad. I took a before picture of his outie… If I can get him to hold still for two seconds, I’ll get a pic of his new and improved belly button and post a before and after.
Stay tuned…I’m going to get my old blogging shoes out of the closet and dust them off.
Grandpa’s Glory – Part II
Back in October, I wrote a post about Ace’s Grandpa, my Dad. Ace and his Grandpa didn’t get a long too good at first. Grandpa would say “Hi!” and Ace would scream like a banshee!
It was tough on Grandpa, but things have been getting better…
Ace, Momma, and I spent all weekend at Grandpa’s just hanging out and swimming in the pool! We had a blast and got some nice tan lines as a result.
As you probably know, Ace loves to ride on the mower, and when Grandpa started his up Ace wasn’t going to quit until he was taken for a ride. It wasn’t hard for Ace to convince his Grandpa for a quick ride on the mower, but a quick ride turned into 20-30 minutes of lapping the yard.
And after a long day in the sun, nothing is better than a nap in the recliner…
It makes me think back to when my Grandpa took me for rides on his mower. Something I will never forget! I’m going to have to dig up some pictures of me riding on my Grandpa’s mower and napping in his recliner…and post them here of course.
Sometimes it’s scary how much Ace and I are alike…
Momma’s Going To Kill Me
So, I’m pretty sure Momma is going to kill me! Why? Because, I have a weakness for FREE stuff. Especially free stuff with wheels and an engine.
In the past year I have acquired an 87 Chevy Blazer, a 77 Honda motorcycle, and 4 old push mowers that I didn’t pay a penny for. The free “junk” is piling up behind our shed at amazing rates! (If I don’t stop bringing home so called “junk”..I may just be found mangled in the “junk pile” behind our shed. 
)
Guess what…none of the free “junk” ran when I got them. (and most of them still don’t…but they will).
My most recent score was a 1970’s something model John Deere 56 riding lawn mower…yes…for FREE! I found it on Craigslist and was all excited! I am tired of push mowing our yard. I knew it didn’t run, but I know that almost anything can be fixed. I was really looking forward to kicking back, with no shirt, catching some rays, with a beer in one hand, and the steering wheel in the other as grass clipping flew all over the place.
So I picked it up and brought it home, but guess what…not only did it not run, but it had no mowing deck. That means no blades. That means it is not mowing crap 
Momma asked, “What the hell are you going to do with it if you can’t mow with it?”
Well, a few weekends ago I managed to get it started and actually move under it’s own power. Amazing huh? While most people would have taken this old worthless pile of junk to the dump for a proper burial, I found a good use.
Quit snickering at my oh so cool camo hat and good jeans!
Now I just look forward to kicking back, with no shirt, catching some rays, with Ace in one hand, and the steering wheel in the other as we zoom around the backyard dodging the land mines and annoying the neighbors with the rumble of a 6 horsepower engine running beneath our seat!
Screw mowing…let’s just ride!
By the way…I just realized that if I do things right, you can click on the picture and actually comment on the picture alone. Expect all pictures on DadThing to be like this for now on.
The Poop-endectomy
Saturday, after breakfast, Ace and I went out to explore the backyard. I was excited! Ace was curious! We were going to have one hell of a time rolling around in the grass and digging holes with sticks!
Not long after putting Ace down in the grass I realized we had a major issue on our hands!
POOP EVERYWHERE!
There is a whole winter’s worth of Buddy turds scattered across the newly discovered playground we like to call the back yard. Images of Ace chomping on a dried up crap-biscuit flooded my previously serene mental state.
I sprint inside for a plastic bag. Then race to the shed for a garden shovel. Then back into the house for some toys to keep Ace occupied while I partake on yet another glorious aspect of being a parent…disarming the mine field!
Off I go! Scooping, and smearing, and plopping booty-cakes into a plastic grocery bag… 
Despite my best efforts, disaster was inevitable. A casualty was encountered. Here is a picture from the case file…
I immediately gathered up the victim and raced inside to perform an emergency poop-endectomy. This was an urgent matter that had to be dealt with and covered up before Momma found out. Why? These were his good shoes!
The poop-endectomy was a success! The shoes were as good as new, however completely soaked and temporarily unwearable from the operation.
Riding In Style!
My wish list keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger. :D
Back when Momma and I were picking out diaper bags and strollers I insisted that they not be too “girly” looking. Admit it. Most diaper bags and strollers are designed for moms. I wanted something that was gender neutral. No lace. No fru-fru. No bright colors. I mean I would have to be seen in public using these things too.
Obviously I am not the only one who thinks this. Why? Because KidKustoms has come out with some awesome strollers specifically with Dad’s in mind. Dads with style that is… Check out “The Roddler”!
How sweet is this beaty! They are totally customizable with options for built in LCD screens and IPod/IPhone docks. You pick your colors. You pick your fender style! Look at the white wall tires!
This thing is definitely on my Wish List, however I think it will probably be there for a while… The Roddler may be for Dads with style, but in reality it is for Dads with style…and money. These awesome rides start at a whopping $2500 according to their website.
Oh well. It’s OK to dream, right? I mean, I have an imagination. I’ll just pretend my hunker-junker…
…is one stream lined, baby strolling machine, as I dodge the bumps and cracks in my suburban neighborhood sidewalks. Vroom Vroom Baby!
Get Out Of The Street!
As I was driving down the street on my way home from work I see Ace sitting in the middle of the front yard in his pajamas. “What the hell?”, I say to myself. Did he sneak out the front door when Momma was checking the mail?
Nope. I know better. Momma would never let that happen. Momma was in the front yard to talking to the neighbor lady. The neighbors daughter was playing with Ace in the front yard.
It was pretty cool! Ace was loving it! He found a two foot long stick and was whacking everything in sight with it. We have one of those political signs in our front yard and Ace would run and tackle it. He was having so much fun not being restricted by the walls of our house.
The neighbors go home and it’s Momma, Ace, and me in the front yard. Now he seems to be obsessed with the street! I sit him down in the yard up by the house and he runs for the street…every time!
What is so enticing about the street? I mean, it is just a big slab of boring pavement with cars zooming up and down…
Even at one year old I need to tell him to get out of the street. I didn’t think that day would come for at least a few more years.
For The Ladies
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