Uncle JoJo, What Is That?
I am jealous of most of the other Mom and Dad bloggers. Why? Their kids talk. Their kids say the funniest things…which makes for some great blogging material.
Since Ace does not talk yet, I rely on pictures, videos, and the cuteness factor!
However, I was hangin’ out with my three year old niece, Olivia, the other day when she said something to me that rang the “I gotta write a post about this” bell. Let’s call it good practice for when Ace starts talking…
Olivia: Uncle JoJo, what is this on your arm? (Petting my arm)
Me: What? Where?
Olivia: Right here… (gently tugging on my arm hair)
Me: That’s hair!
Olivia: Where did it come from?
Me: (Trying to think of an answer a 3 year old would understand, I resorted to…) I don’t know.
Olivia: I know where it came from!
Me: Really? Where?
Olivia: The top of your head!
Nothing makes you feel like a crippled old man like having a three year old let you know that you are going bald!
At least she patted me on the top of my old bald head to make me feel better afterwards. 
Bath Time, At Home, Of All Places
Back in November I wrote about how I destroyed our bathroom and then posted a video of Ace taking a bath in the sink. In that video, Momma was quoted saying…”Fix the bathroom please!”
See, we bought our house and planned to renovate every single room. However, due to some unexpected problems with the renovations, we ran out of money and time. We had the downstairs bathroom complete, which had a fully functional shower, but the upstairs bathroom, which had a bath tub, had been put on the back burner and never got finished. (or started for that matter)
I ripped everything out of the bathroom, including the walls. It was nothing but a floor, ceiling, and some studs. (Puffing out chest: No I’m not the only stud in this house )
This was fine when it was just Momma and I, (except for when Momma was pregnant and wanted to do nothing other than take a bath…oops my bad), but when Ace arrived we realized that the upstairs bathroom would eventually need to be finished…for the simple fact that a bath tub would eventually be needed.
However, Ace has been taking a bath in the sink since he was born. He fit…with room to spare! It was a perfect little baby bath tub at just the right height. No bending over and cramping of the back. No wet knees from kneeling on a wet floor…life was good.
Then one day Ace grew up. No longer can he stretch out in the sink. He is just a bit too big now. So, Ace either got a bath at Grandma’s house or I bathed him in the shower with me.
Well, with special thanks to Uncle Brandon (my extremely skilled bathroom renovating brother), we have a fully functional bath tub…in a bathroom with walls!
It is not finished yet, but this is a huge step! Hell, nothing has been done in that room for six months, and in one day Uncle Brandon and I installed a new bath tub, with new plumbing, and hung drywall on ALL the walls. It almost looks like a bathroom now! (minus a sink and a toilet…and paint…and some kind of flooring other than a throw rug)
So, now Ace can get a bath at home…without looking up and seeing my junk…here’s proof:
3D/4D Ultrasound Video
Feel like taking a peek inside the womb? We did!
When Momma was pregnant with Ace, we had a 3D / 4D Ultrasound performed at 29 weeks along. I wrote a post about the 3D / 4D Ultrasound back when we had it done, but I only posted a few pictures.
I was looking back some of the old pictures and videos we have of Ace and I came across his 3D / 4D Ultrasound video. The video was a recording of our entire 20 minute session.
I reduced the 20 minute video down to about 2 minutes of the cool stuff. You know, like moving around, making faces, and of course showing us how he can kick the crap out of Momma. (Not literally 
)
Anyways, I hope you enjoy, and if you decide to have another baby definitely consider having a 3D/4D Ultrasound done. It was something I will never forget…
[youtube]B6Adx48ldHw[/youtube]
Left, Left, Left, Right, Left
From Momma: We thank God everyday that Ace was born “on time”, perfect and healthy, but so many babies are not. Won’t you help those babies have a better start?
Momma is walking in the March for Babies on April 27th.
The money she raises for March for Babies will support life saving research, services, education and advocacy that help babies get a healthy start in life.
I’m asking you to help Momma reach her goal of $125 (only $40 more to go as of 4/14). By participating in March for Babies, Momma will help the March of Dimes fund the fight to ensure the health of babies. It’s easy, safe and secure – just click on the link below (or the picture in the right sidebar) to make your donation.
http://www.marchforbabies.org/shoylman
Not sure what the March of Babies is all about? Watch the video below…
[youtube]iQ1CsZbjY0g[/youtube]
I’m Still Alive, But Just In Case…
Well, I didn’t die from the chicken nugget infested root-beer I drank yesterday, but I think it will be a while before I eat McDonalds again.
And just in case the chicken nugget infested root-beer has a delayed reaction, I wanted to make sure that I give special thanks to Katy at AdventuresInParenting.org for awarding me with the “You Make My Day” award!
Other Updates:
I’m now on Twitter at http://twitter.com/dadthing and I have added my twitter feed in the sidebar of the home page. Follow me?
If I Die From McDonald’s Rootbeer…
I left the house at 4AM this morning to catch a 6AM flight to Baton Rouge, LA for work. I arrived in Baton Rouge about 9:30.
I was hungry. I skipped breakfast, so I stopped at McDonald’s and got a breakfast meal…somewhere around 9:45 AM. I usually get orange juice with my McDonald’s breakfast, but since I had a two hour drive ahead of me I got a root-beer. The root-beer is bigger and would last longer.
Anyways, I was driving down the highway enjoying my breakfast and root-beer on the way to the place I was working. Over the course of the two hour drive I finished the root-beer. It was flat and tasted a bit funny, but I was thirsty so I drank it anyways!
I finished my job and hit the road at about 2:00 PM. I was thirsty again, so I stopped at a gas station to get a drink. When I picked up the McDonald’s cup out of the cup holder, I shook it to see if it was empty. To my surprise I heard…
THUMP….THUMP…
Why was the cup thumping when I shook it? It had been sitting in the 80 degree car for over four hours. All the ice should have been melted, right?
I opened the lid of the cup to see what the hell was going on. What I saw made my stomach wrench!
I’m sure you’ve heard the stories about finding fingertips, mice, and other strange objects in fast food. What I saw was not as bad as a fingertip or dead mouse, but it still grossed me out!
I saw a soggy chicken nugget!
Somehow a chicken nugget found it’s way into my root-beer…and I drank the whole thing without noticing…
The chicken nugget was just lying there at the bottom of my cup. All of the breading had become soggy and broke off. Pieces of the breading were covering the inside of the cup. I probably sucked up most of the breading through my straw when I was drinking it though…
The thought of a chicken nugget being in my drink doesn’t gross me out. Added protein, right?
What grosses me out is that it was 9:45 in the morning. They were still serving breakfast… Chicken nuggets shouldn’t have even been out and about yet. So where did this chicken nugget come from?
Did someone find it on the floor from the previous night and put it in my cup? Ya know, after the mice, flies, and bugs got through nibbling and shitting on it?
Was it an uncooked chicken nugget that someone put in my drink? Can you say salmonella..!
So, if I die from drinking McDonald’s root-beer I want all of the Mom and Dad bloggers out there to unite and form a group. The group will be named P.A.C.I.F.I.E.R.
Parents
Against
Chicken Nuggets
In
Fast-food’s
Icy Drinks,
Especially
Root-beer
Take McDonald’s to court. Sue them. Give some money to Momma and Ace to make sure they will be taken care of for the rest of their lives, and donate the rest to charity.
Can I count on all of ya to follow through with this?
I’ve got other things to think about right now…like keeping my dinner down. 
McDonald’s cup photo by SoloXis
The Poop-endectomy
Saturday, after breakfast, Ace and I went out to explore the backyard. I was excited! Ace was curious! We were going to have one hell of a time rolling around in the grass and digging holes with sticks!
Not long after putting Ace down in the grass I realized we had a major issue on our hands!
POOP EVERYWHERE!
There is a whole winter’s worth of Buddy turds scattered across the newly discovered playground we like to call the back yard. Images of Ace chomping on a dried up crap-biscuit flooded my previously serene mental state.
I sprint inside for a plastic bag. Then race to the shed for a garden shovel. Then back into the house for some toys to keep Ace occupied while I partake on yet another glorious aspect of being a parent…disarming the mine field!
Off I go! Scooping, and smearing, and plopping booty-cakes into a plastic grocery bag…
Despite my best efforts, disaster was inevitable. A casualty was encountered. Here is a picture from the case file…
I immediately gathered up the victim and raced inside to perform an emergency poop-endectomy. This was an urgent matter that had to be dealt with and covered up before Momma found out. Why? These were his good shoes!
The poop-endectomy was a success! The shoes were as good as new, however completely soaked and temporarily unwearable from the operation.
5 Things That Will Make You Go, Hmmm?
- Cheese puffs are good. Cheese puffs are so good that Ace will eat them until there are none left. So many, in fact, that his fingers are permanently discolored, and his digestive system shuts down. I’m talking orange polka-dotted-poop here folks…
- The dog has bad breath…really bad breath. Almost smells as bad as his silent but deadlies. And he loooves to lick your face. So, we got him the dog food that is supposed to clean his teeth when he eats it. It works. Kinda. However, Ace likes dog food. He eats it. All the time. Do we still need to brush Ace’s teeth? I mean, I wouldn’t want to over do it…ya know!
- Baby dolls are for girls. Ace is a boy. He likes baby dolls. Not in the carry them around, feed them, burp them fashion. More like the poke thier eyes out and lick their face while holding them down on the floor fashion. Should I be concerned?
- We have digital cable. The kind you can pause and rewind. Ace likes to play with the remote. A LOT! Ace puts it on Slooooowww Moootiooon all the time. Is he telling us that he thinks we are slow? We can’t keep up? Is it really that obvious?
- Shiny, streak free windows are good…to lick, according to Ace. Is this glass licking fetish an early sign of “kid in the back of the short bus licking the window” syndrome? God, I hope not.
In Other News:
Special thanks goes out to Jon D for awarding DadThing.com a Graco Monthly Nod (Notice the Graco button in the sidebar). Check out the Graco Baby Blog for some good reading!
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