What Goes Crunch, Crunch, Crunch In The Dark?

Wednesday night we had a really bad storm come through town.  I was driving home from work and had to literally stop on the freeway due to zero visibility with my wipers on hyper speed.  The wind gusts were downright mindshattering.  I was driving my truck (which doubles as a wind sail during storms due to it’s large side profile) and could actally feel the truck lift up when the wind was hitting me head on.  The news said we had near 70 MPH wind gusts!

Anyways, I made it home without blowing away.  I was waiting for one of two things to happen…  the tree in front of our house to fall on our roof, …or the power to go out.  One of the two was inevitable…

So, in the mean time I cooked dinner (Momma was not feeling well).  I made Taco Salad, but I forgot to buy the Taco Seasoning on the way home from work.  So I made the taco salad without the seasoning.  So really it was hamburger and chili bean salad…tasted about as good as it sounds. 😆

I set up Ace’s chair in the living room and gave Ace a plate with some hamburger and beans, but he would have nothing to do with it.  I don’t blame him…it was gross, but I could not let a whole pound of hamburger go to waste, so I ate it anyways. 🙂

I gave Ace a handful of potato chips to keep him busy until I could get back with ole’ faithful…a hot dog.  This kid is going to turn into a hot dog if we are not careful. 😀

Of course all the hot dogs were frozen, so I put one on the microwave for two minutes to thaw and cook it real quick.  The microwave beeped when it was done, and I pressed the button to open the microwave door….

DARKNESS!

All the power in our house went out.  My first thought was “Where the hell is Ace?”  I could just see him getting scared, running to find me, and falling and hurting himself on the corner of some piece of furniture.   “He is probably freaking out right about now!”,  I think to myself.  Then I remembered he was strapped into his chair. 

 So I start making my way into the living room, tripping over toys and cussing under my breath the whole way. 😆

I get to the living room and can not remember where I set up his chair.  Was it on the left or right side of the couch?  Remember it was pitch black.   I could not see anything. 

I called Ace’s name, but he did not make a peep.  So I start slowly making my way through the living room with my arms outstretched feeling for his chair, head, arms, whatever.  And then I hear it…

“Crunch, crunch, crunch.”

“What the hell is that?” I say to myself.

“Crunch, crunch, crunch.”

I make my way towards the noise and find Ace sitting there in the pitch black room, strapped to his chair, still enjoying his potato chips…just crunching away like nothing ever happened.

Paranoid Dad much?  😳

Happy Birthday Ace!

In celebrating Ace’s first birthday I wanted to write about the most exciting day of my life.  The day that Ace was born.  I started DadThing.com when Ace was about 6 months old, so his birth story has never been told here.

Happy 1st Birthday Little Man!

The Birth Story!

It all started on March 12, 2007.  I was at work on the phone with a customer.  My cell phone rang, and it was Momma.  I put the customer on hold and answered my cell.  She said she was having contractions.  I told her I would call her right back after I got off the phone with the customer (I will never live that one down :D)  Thirty seconds later I called Momma back and we decided it was best for me to come home because the contractions were getting closer together.

When I arrive home Momma is in the shower.  She looks a lot more relaxed than I thought she would be.  I grab my stop watch and start timing the contractions while writing down when each contaction started and stopped.  After a few hours the contractions were down to about 5 minutes.  I call the doctor and was told it was time to go to the hospital.

I grab all of the bags that I had packed and ready for the occasion.  We get in the car, take the dog to Momma’s parent’s house, and then make our way to the hospital.  After arriving at the hospital we make our way to Maternity.  I get handed a packet full of paper to fill out (which I totally screwed up because I was so nervous).

After a few minutes we were walked back to the “observation room” where Momma was hooked up to all kinds of monitors that recorded the strength of her contractions and her and the babies vital signs.  Not long after she was hooked up to the monitors a nurse opened our curtain and walked in.  She informed us that Momma’s blood pressure was elevated and she needed to relax…easier said than done.  We spent what seemed like eternity in this small curtained in room that was barely big enough for the bed, the monitoring equipment, and me.

All Momma wanted to do was stand up.  This is what made her comfortable at home and she knew this would make her more comfortable here.  I asked the nurse if Momma could stand, but the nursesaid “No!”.  They were afraid that with Momma’s elevated blood pressure she would pass out or something.  So Momma had to just stick out the pain the best she could. (I gotta give a hand to Momma here.  She was tough and stayed strong!)

Finally, we were moved to a delivery room which was a bit more comfortable, but they still wouldn’t let Momma stand.  I made a call to Momma’s Dad and let him know that we had been admitted.  His job was to call everyone on the list that wanted to be at the hospital when Ace was born and let them know that the time has come.

In the delivery room Momma had to lay on her side.  Her blood pressure kept going up.  The nurses were freaking at this point and decided to give Momma some magnesium sulfate.  The magnesium was to keep Momma from having seizures!  That’s right seizures!!!  Very high blood pressure causes seizures!  I started to worry at this point!

Momma was all about not having an epidural, but due to her high blood pressure the nurses and doctors decided it was best to do the epidural so that Momma could relax and hopefully her blood pressure would drop.

After the epidural was administered the nurses turned out the lights and told us to go to sleep…we both passed out in record time.

I was woken by the lights turning on (after what seemed like a 30 second nap) and a nurse entering the room letting us know that it was time!  Holy shit!  It was time!  Although I had to do none of the pushing, none of the breathing, none of the tearing, none of the bleeding…I was nervous!  I stood there like a zombie.  I forgot most of what we had learned in the parenting classes.  I did my best to comfort Momma.

Momma’s water hadn’t broke yet, so the nurse broke it for her.  I saw it all.  I huge splash of brown liquid.  Brown because Ace had pooped in there.  The little booger couldn’t wait.  😀  They ran a small hose up in there and flushed the baby factory with water to get all of the marconium (a.k.a.  poop) out.

I just stood by Momma’s side as she pushed…and pushed…and pushed…

My cell phone rang.  I looked at the caller ID and it was my Dad.  Do I answer it?  I knew he was driving in from out of town and wouldn’t call unless it was important.  So I answered it.  He was lost.  I was giving him directions, but I don’t know my way around the city very well.  Momma asked who the hell I was talking to.  I told her my Dad was lost.  Momma was yelling out directions in between pushes.  (Another thing I will never live down.)  Once I got him headed in the right direction the cell phone was turned off so that I could fcous on the task at hand.  😀

Momma didn’t have to push much longer (she is a good pusher) and I could see the top of Ace’s head.  A few more pushes and his whole head was out.  I couldn’t see his face though.  The doctors suctioned out his mouth and nose.  A few more pushes and his shoulder came out.  One more push and he flew right out of there into the doctors hands.  The doctor placed Ace on Momma’s belly.  I just stood there staring at him in amazement.  Momma was doing the same.  I didn’t cry.  I didn’t smile.  I didn’t say a word.  I just stood there in total amazement.

The doctor asked me if I would like to cut the cord.  I snapped out of zombie mode as I was handed a pair of scissors.  He pointed at the area for me to cut.  I clearly saw where to cut, but had to ask him…”Right here?”…just to make sure. 😀  A few snips with the scissors and I realized that I just set the little guy free.

He was now on his own.  No longer would Momma’s body supply him with what he needed to survive.  He had to breath.  He had to eat.  He had to poop and pee on his own.  He was a real, live person!

They took Ace over and cleaned him up, weighed him, measured him, and checked all of his vitals.  I was still just standing there…amazed!  Momma had to tell me to get the camera and go take some pictures.

 

ace-baby-first-day-home-from-the-hospital

He weighed 6 lbs. 8 oz.

I remember saying “Hi” to him.  It was weird hearing myself say, “Hi Ace!”.  He didn’t exist in this world a few seconds ago.  Ace was someone that had only existed in my imagination up to this point.  I remember putting my finger in his little hand and having him grab a hold.  Still chokes me up to this day…

I remember the nurse then wrapping him up, putting that tiny little hat on him, and letting Momma hold him for the first time.

ace-looking-into-his-moms-eyes

Momma was a natural.  She knew what to say, how to hold him, how to act…she truly was a natural!  And I was so proud of her!

A few minutes later Momma handed Ace to me.  I had never held a small baby and was nervous about it, but ya know what?  It felt very natural…even though I probably looked extremely awkward and nervous.  😀

proud-dad

And that’s how it all started.  A year ago today.  Me…proud…a Dad.

Ace’s Nemesis

Ace’s Nemesis
Photo by tattingstar2

I thought that up to this point Ace was fearless. He has never backed down from anything…ever.

You can throw him up in the air, dangle him upside down, let him fall off the couch and catch him inches from the floor, run the vacuum cleaner right next to him, be mounted by the dog, walk him through the pitch black of a basement with no lights…nothing phases the little guy.

Well, we have found his nemesis…

It was late Sunday night. It was dark. The only light was from the parking lots surrounding us. We pull in. A light mist starts covering us, followed by a plethora of multi colored goo.

A short pause intensifies the moment. Then WHAM! We are being blasted on all sides with water! It’s everywhere! It’s loud! The noise cycles around us with a taunting gesture!

I look at Ace. As the noise approached him his eyes and mouth open as wide as I have ever seen them open. The intensity builds as the noise gets closer and peaks when it is beating on Ace’s window. It gets a bit quieter as it moves away from him and he lets out a horrifying scream as tears roll down his cheeks.

After the noise circles us a few times, it all ends as quickly as it began. We leave this terrifying place. Ace calms as he realizes it’s over. With tears resting on his cheeks he looks at me as if to say, “Never again Dad! Never again!”

You probably guessed it. His nemesis is the automatic car wash!