Now Ya See Me, Now Ya See Me With Only One Eye

Ace is rough.  He does not play nice…sometimes.  He does not think twice about smacking the shit out of you, or kicking you in the nads when you are holding him, or pulling your hair (if you have any), or….poking your eye out!

You heard me right…poking your eye out!

Momma and Ace were playing on the floor and Momma took a fingernail to the eyeball.  She said it hurt like hell, but we both kinda hoped that it would be better in the morning.

Actually it got worse.  I came home from work at lunch to find Momma with an eye that was nearly swollen shut and bloodshot like she had been in one hell of a bar fight the night before.

I drove her and the eye poking two year old to the eye doctor where Momma was given some eye drops and told to keep her eyes closed as much as possible.

She spent the rest of the day resting lying on the couch with gauze taped to her orbit.

But while it is easy to get upset with Ace when he gets rough like this, you just can’t stay that way very long.

I mean, how can you feel anything negative at a face like this?

Cute Face

(Non) Sleep Study

I went last night and did the sleep study that my doc recommended, but I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep.  😀  Maybe it had something to do with the 30 wires, sensors, and probes that joined me for my slumber…

Sleep Study Plug-N-Play

Sleep Study Plug-N-Play

 It took about a half an hour to get connected, then I could do whatever I wanted and go to sleep whenever I wanted.  So, I got out my laptop like any good blogger would do and realized there was not an outlet to plug into and also no available wireless connection.  Shucks!

So, I got out my web cam and took these photographs before my battery ran out of juice. (Check out my fancy $15 PJs that will never get worn again.)

All Connected For My Sleep Study

All Connected For My Sleep Study

All Connected For My Sleep Study (Side View)

All Connected For My Sleep Study (Side View)

My other alternative was watch TV with the other lab rats, read a Readers Digest from 1997, or go to sleep.  I opted for a little shut eye.  😀

This room was dark…haunted house dark!  Where was the TV and the glow from the street lights that I have grown accustomed to?  The only light was from an Infrared Flood light above the door.  It was a very faint red glow that I could barely see, but would allow the sleep technicians to watch my every move using an infrared camera.  Ever wake up feeling like someone is watching you sleep?  Try waking up knowing someone is watching you sleep.  😀

What bad habits do I have at night when I am sleeping?  What do I scratch?  What bodily functions do I lose control of? (They did have a microphone in the room too. )

Maybe all of these thoughts running through my head, plus the wires, plus the fact that I could not get comfortable, plus the fact that I can not remember the last time I had worn more than my underwear to bed…is why I did not sleep well.

So, morning came after what seemed like 12 hours of lying in a dark room.  The technician said that I might have a mild to moderate sleep breathing disorder (I guess I actually did sleep some)…but the doctor will make that call and let me know next week.

Until then I am going to sleep in my own bed, with no wires/sensors/probes, with the TV on, scratching whatever I want whenever I want, and doing it all stark naked if I feel like it.  😀

The Bionic Sleeper

You might remember my recent hospital stay where they detected that my heart had gone into atrial fibrillation.  It has been happening to me since I was in high school.  I had learned how to make the abnormal heart beat convert back to a normal sinus rhythm by holding my breath…and so I lived with it.   Yup, real fun stuff.  😀

My new heart doc has me taking some medicine that helps control it.  And so far it is working.  I’ve had a few freak episodes, but they only lasted about 2 seconds…nothing like the 10 hours of 190 beats per minute while I was in the hospital.  😀

I’ve been doing good.  I have not had a drop of caffeine…and I have not gone back into a-fib for more than 3 or 4 seconds.  Those couple times were really my fault.  I had been working outside all day cutting wood.  I had not ate or drank much of anything.  Dehydration and lack of potassium are just of the couple of things that can trigger a-fib.  Whoops…my bad.  😀

The next step of my treatment is a sleep study…this Sunday…yep Superbowl Sunday.  I get to sleep at the doctors office with about 3 million wires and sensors attached from head to toe while some really lucky nurses get to watch me toss and turn over a camera, and listen to me saw logs over a microphone.

Based upon the results, I may have to sleep like this from now on…

cpap

Looks comfy right?  Well, maybe I will actually feel rested in the morning.  I can look like the bionic sleeper if it makes me feel like the bionic man the next day.  😀

Do any of you that read DadThing use CPAP machines?  If so let me know what you think about them in the comments.

The Doctors Office: Farts, Burps, Ear Wax, and Red Poop

If you know Ace even the slightest little bit, you would know that if you found him sitting still for longer than 0.163 seconds with his eyes open and the TV not on Noggin, that something is seriously wrong!

Well that was the scene when I arrived home from work a few nights ago.  Momma called during the day and said that Ace wasn’t feeling good, but I figured it was like any of the other numerous times he was sick.  Usually he still runs around like the Energizer Bunny with snot running from his nose only stopping when it is time to eat or sleep, or both.

I walked in the door and Ace was lying on the couch by himself.  Just lying there like he was paralyzed from the neck down.  He turned his head to see who walked in the door.  When he saw it was me, there was no smile.  There was no running across the room to greet me.  Nothing!  Just a look of exhaustion… 🙁

Ear PlugsWhen his normal bed time came around, we tried and tried to get him to go to sleep, but all of our normal tactics were deemed useless.  The sickness was beating all of us! Finally after an hour or so Ace fell asleep on my chest and remained there for most of the rest of the night until Momma put him in his bed in the early morning.

Momma calls me the next day at work and needs me to take Ace to the doctor.  Things aren’t getting better and she has a doctor’s appointment herself on the other side of town.

So I picked up Ace and off to the pediatrician I went.  Even though Ace was feeling like crap he still managed to flirt with the nurses at the doctors office.  He was just lounging there in my arm when the nurse walked up to the reception desk to greet me Ace.

Of course, he perked up, pulled out a big smile, and hypnotized her with his blue eyes.  They “talked” for a few minutes before the older grumpier receptionist asked told me to have seat.

I grabbed a few magazines from the stack and was flipping through the pages to keep Ace entertained, but my reading kept getting interrupted by the little old lady sitting across from me… farting and burping!

She was talking away with her friend and would fart mid-sentence (Phhhhtttt!!!) without even losing her train of thought!  I’m not talking about a little squeaky fart…I’m talking about a day after drinking 12 beers and eating 24 hot wings kinda fart!  I’m not sure if she didn’t know she was farting or she didn’t care, but it sure did echo in that quiet waiting room!  I’m just glad I didn’t catch a whiff or the doctor would have been treating me for nausea for sure! 😀

Our name was finally called and we sprinted back and took a seat in room #4 before we passed out from methane inhalation.  The doctor lady performed the normal checks…temperature, heart, lungs.  All look OK until she checks his ears.

I hear her say something like, “Little man you gotta start letting go of that ear wax!”Ear Wax Candle

She grabs the smallest pair of tweezers I have ever seen and goes in to pull it out.  While digging around in his ear she says to Ace, “I bet Daddy is going to be shocked at how much ear wax you have in here.”

Now seriously how shocking could it be?  You ever looked at a 1yr old’s ear hole?  It’s tiny!  I figured a few small globs of ear wax.  Maybe something I would see on a Q-Tip after being pulled from my ear.  My ears are probably 5 times bigger than his so a man sized chunk of ear wax would be considered a lot of ear wax for a little guy, right?

Wrong!  What I saw literally made my jaw drop.  I’m talking about a chunk of ear wax about a 1/2 inch long and a bit smaller round than a pencil!

She takes another peek in his ear…there is more!  She goes digging a few more times and pulls out more ear wax every single time!  All in all if it wouldn’t have broken apart it was probably an inch long. (And I thought Ace had been ignoring me when he wouldn’t respond to me at home…the little guy was probably couldn’t hear a lick)  😆

His ailment was diagnosed as an ear infection (jeez, imagine that!) and antibiotics were prescribed.  She says there is nothing we can do to prevent the build up of ear wax.  It just happens in some kids and they will eventually out grow it, or their ear canals will rupture from an excess build up of wax.  (OK,  I made that last part up)

Before leaving the room she warns me… “Oh yeah.  If his poop turns a brick red color there is no need to worry.  It’s just the medicine.”

It’s a good thing she told me that piece of important information!  I’m pretty sure red poop requires an immediate emergency room visit in any other imaginable circumstances. 😀  If you know of a situation where it doesn’t please let me know…just incase…you never know…

Photos by: http://flickr.com/photos/nickstarr/ and http://flickr.com/photos/fuse/

Happy Birthday Ace!

In celebrating Ace’s first birthday I wanted to write about the most exciting day of my life.  The day that Ace was born.  I started DadThing.com when Ace was about 6 months old, so his birth story has never been told here.

Happy 1st Birthday Little Man!

The Birth Story!

It all started on March 12, 2007.  I was at work on the phone with a customer.  My cell phone rang, and it was Momma.  I put the customer on hold and answered my cell.  She said she was having contractions.  I told her I would call her right back after I got off the phone with the customer (I will never live that one down :D)  Thirty seconds later I called Momma back and we decided it was best for me to come home because the contractions were getting closer together.

When I arrive home Momma is in the shower.  She looks a lot more relaxed than I thought she would be.  I grab my stop watch and start timing the contractions while writing down when each contaction started and stopped.  After a few hours the contractions were down to about 5 minutes.  I call the doctor and was told it was time to go to the hospital.

I grab all of the bags that I had packed and ready for the occasion.  We get in the car, take the dog to Momma’s parent’s house, and then make our way to the hospital.  After arriving at the hospital we make our way to Maternity.  I get handed a packet full of paper to fill out (which I totally screwed up because I was so nervous).

After a few minutes we were walked back to the “observation room” where Momma was hooked up to all kinds of monitors that recorded the strength of her contractions and her and the babies vital signs.  Not long after she was hooked up to the monitors a nurse opened our curtain and walked in.  She informed us that Momma’s blood pressure was elevated and she needed to relax…easier said than done.  We spent what seemed like eternity in this small curtained in room that was barely big enough for the bed, the monitoring equipment, and me.

All Momma wanted to do was stand up.  This is what made her comfortable at home and she knew this would make her more comfortable here.  I asked the nurse if Momma could stand, but the nursesaid “No!”.  They were afraid that with Momma’s elevated blood pressure she would pass out or something.  So Momma had to just stick out the pain the best she could. (I gotta give a hand to Momma here.  She was tough and stayed strong!)

Finally, we were moved to a delivery room which was a bit more comfortable, but they still wouldn’t let Momma stand.  I made a call to Momma’s Dad and let him know that we had been admitted.  His job was to call everyone on the list that wanted to be at the hospital when Ace was born and let them know that the time has come.

In the delivery room Momma had to lay on her side.  Her blood pressure kept going up.  The nurses were freaking at this point and decided to give Momma some magnesium sulfate.  The magnesium was to keep Momma from having seizures!  That’s right seizures!!!  Very high blood pressure causes seizures!  I started to worry at this point!

Momma was all about not having an epidural, but due to her high blood pressure the nurses and doctors decided it was best to do the epidural so that Momma could relax and hopefully her blood pressure would drop.

After the epidural was administered the nurses turned out the lights and told us to go to sleep…we both passed out in record time.

I was woken by the lights turning on (after what seemed like a 30 second nap) and a nurse entering the room letting us know that it was time!  Holy shit!  It was time!  Although I had to do none of the pushing, none of the breathing, none of the tearing, none of the bleeding…I was nervous!  I stood there like a zombie.  I forgot most of what we had learned in the parenting classes.  I did my best to comfort Momma.

Momma’s water hadn’t broke yet, so the nurse broke it for her.  I saw it all.  I huge splash of brown liquid.  Brown because Ace had pooped in there.  The little booger couldn’t wait.  😀  They ran a small hose up in there and flushed the baby factory with water to get all of the marconium (a.k.a.  poop) out.

I just stood by Momma’s side as she pushed…and pushed…and pushed…

My cell phone rang.  I looked at the caller ID and it was my Dad.  Do I answer it?  I knew he was driving in from out of town and wouldn’t call unless it was important.  So I answered it.  He was lost.  I was giving him directions, but I don’t know my way around the city very well.  Momma asked who the hell I was talking to.  I told her my Dad was lost.  Momma was yelling out directions in between pushes.  (Another thing I will never live down.)  Once I got him headed in the right direction the cell phone was turned off so that I could fcous on the task at hand.  😀

Momma didn’t have to push much longer (she is a good pusher) and I could see the top of Ace’s head.  A few more pushes and his whole head was out.  I couldn’t see his face though.  The doctors suctioned out his mouth and nose.  A few more pushes and his shoulder came out.  One more push and he flew right out of there into the doctors hands.  The doctor placed Ace on Momma’s belly.  I just stood there staring at him in amazement.  Momma was doing the same.  I didn’t cry.  I didn’t smile.  I didn’t say a word.  I just stood there in total amazement.

The doctor asked me if I would like to cut the cord.  I snapped out of zombie mode as I was handed a pair of scissors.  He pointed at the area for me to cut.  I clearly saw where to cut, but had to ask him…”Right here?”…just to make sure. 😀  A few snips with the scissors and I realized that I just set the little guy free.

He was now on his own.  No longer would Momma’s body supply him with what he needed to survive.  He had to breath.  He had to eat.  He had to poop and pee on his own.  He was a real, live person!

They took Ace over and cleaned him up, weighed him, measured him, and checked all of his vitals.  I was still just standing there…amazed!  Momma had to tell me to get the camera and go take some pictures.

 

ace-baby-first-day-home-from-the-hospital

He weighed 6 lbs. 8 oz.

I remember saying “Hi” to him.  It was weird hearing myself say, “Hi Ace!”.  He didn’t exist in this world a few seconds ago.  Ace was someone that had only existed in my imagination up to this point.  I remember putting my finger in his little hand and having him grab a hold.  Still chokes me up to this day…

I remember the nurse then wrapping him up, putting that tiny little hat on him, and letting Momma hold him for the first time.

ace-looking-into-his-moms-eyes

Momma was a natural.  She knew what to say, how to hold him, how to act…she truly was a natural!  And I was so proud of her!

A few minutes later Momma handed Ace to me.  I had never held a small baby and was nervous about it, but ya know what?  It felt very natural…even though I probably looked extremely awkward and nervous.  😀

proud-dad

And that’s how it all started.  A year ago today.  Me…proud…a Dad.

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